What does it mean when she says she wants “space”?

[trumpetjazzman]

First time poster, glad to be here. My girlfriend with BPD (in therapy but not officially diagnosed) and I have been together for 2 years. Despite ups and downs, she now doesn’t seem to think we are compatible and said recently she wants “space.” I’ve texted her once in the week we’ve been apart and she said that she still loves and misses me.

I love her very much and want to continue working on our relationship if she remains in therapy. This hurts so much. I want to reach out to her, but know that probably won't help. I just feel lost and so sad. She has been between therapists now for a few weeks. Her mother seems to still scare her the most in her life and I believe they are enmeshed. Her depression seems to be at its worst, now.

Any words of wisdom you could offer would be great.

Thanks.
-Jazzman

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[once removed]

hi trumpetjazzman and

texting her once in the week is definitely giving her space. its good not to flood or crowd her emotionally.

"space" can mean a lot of things though. can you tell us more about what led up to this, and what she said?

[Copycat2018]

Hi,
Has it ever happened before?
Can you tell more about your common history
As you see it?
Thanks!

[trumpetjazzman]

Hi,

Thanks to the responders to my post! I've been meaning to return to the site, and I'm glad I have. Our relationship has had its rocky periods, but I believe my knowledge of BPD has allowed me to understand some of her triggers that can set off her rage, such as questioning her regarding if she might have a drinking problem. Right now we are back together, only to learn that she had missed a few doses of her birth control accidentally and now is pregnant and we are unmarried. I need to do a new post addressing this because it has brought us to the brink.