Will and Living Trust Completed

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Technically I do, but not to spare.  And no I wouldn't. A few thousand I might consider.  She blew off what she owed me before.  She said she could pay me $800/mo. Even at 4% interest, I don't see the upside for me.  She got herself into this mess.  She has a job and a nice subsidized condo.  She'll pull herself through.  We dropped martial arts ($125 for herself and another $125 for one kid). Time to go "gazelle intense" as dave Ramsey says. 

We could have a nicer life in a nicer house in a better neighborhood if not for her impulsive and unwise decisions. 

[Turkish]

Technically I do, but not to spare.  And no I wouldn't. A few thousand I might consider.  She blew off what she owed me before.  She said she could pay me $800/mo. Even at 4% interest, I don't see the upside for me.  She got herself into this mess.  She has a job and a nice subsidized condo.  She'll pull herself through.  We dropped martial arts ($125 for herself and another $125 for one kid). Time to go "gazelle intense" as dave Ramsey says. 

We could have a nicer life in a nicer house in a better neighborhood if not for her impulsive and unwise decisions. 

[wendydarling]

Good to be upfront you are leaving your BF 10%. I've done similar for my BF. My sister, she respectfully declined, she is set up for life.

Do you feel your will is off the table. You've been clear, you have closure?

[ForeverDad]

A radio personality who focuses on getting out of debt (yes, Dave Ramsey) says it is hugely unhealthy to loan money to friends or family (or accept a loan from friends or family).  Why?  There are strings attached.  There is high risk the repayment issues will poison whatever relationship there is.  Add in her known pattern and you're enabling and not helping.  He says if you do make a loan then mentally file it internally as money you'll never recover, an unspoken Gift.

And knowing her patterns, gifting her money now would only enable her to get into more debt and incentivize her to come back again and again for you to fix her problems.

Sounds like letting her inherit a lump sum will just feed her poor money decisions.  Is there some way it could be released to her in annual payments, say, over 5 years?  Sounds like I'm describing another trust or even an annuity for her.

[Turkish]

Wendy: yes though the whole situation is concerning. 

FD: yes it would be enabling, similar to the money I and others gave my guest hoarder mother over the years.  My ex still owes me about $2500 to which she said "I buy more clothes and shoes than you do."

The life insurance is through work.  I'm not sure I can control how it's paid out. She will get monthly Social Security survivor's benefits if the kids are minors.  Hopefully that and the insurance are enough to ensure that she won't sue the trust for CS. I doubt she would though. 

[Harri]

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