Update on BPD son in psychiatric ward

[Parents! Get help here!]

Here is the latest on my son. He called from a pay phone in the psych ward at 2am in a panic saying he was experiencing sleep paralysis and bad nightmares. I prayed with him and thar xalmed him down. I explained that what was happening could be a side effect of meds. He complained that they were giving him meds randomly. I explained that they probably had to experiment with different combinations of meds to see what would work. Then he said "Maybe I should be here for a while." My H and I will visit him tomorrow.

[FaithHopeLove]

Here is the latest on my son. He called from a pay phone in the psych ward at 2am in a panic saying he was experiencing sleep paralysis and bad nightmares. I prayed with him and thar xalmed him down. I explained that what was happening could be a side effect of meds. He complained that they were giving him meds randomly. I explained that they probably had to experiment with different combinations of meds to see what would work. Then he said "Maybe I should be here for a while." My H and I will visit him tomorrow.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Harri]

Hi Faith.  I've been thinking about you and yours and am relieved to read this update.  it seems like a good sign that he said 'maybe I should be here for a while'.  I know it is early days yet though I am ever the optimist.

I will still be praying for you all and I will pray for the visit to go well for all of you.

 

 

[FaithHopeLove]

Thanks Harri
I told him lots of people were praying for him and that seemed to calm him.

[Swimmy55]

He is accepting healing at this time.  WOnderful news.

[FaithHopeLove]

I don't know if he is accepting healing or just feels he is on some kind of "mission" to be there. Either way it is better than just wanting out.

[PeaceMom]

Faith,
I sure wish I didn’t know a thing about psych wards, but my DS24 w/BiPolar has had 4 horrible cycles that have landed him in hospitals for long periods of time. The meds are the very worst and best parts of the stays. He has had every side effect listed but somehow has stabilized every single time. It’s a beating bc he says he feels like a lab rat and what I now know about the psych meds is alarming, but it always calms down his brain. Sleep is their #1 priority on the ward so I’ll be praying for your son’s productive healing sleep.
Peacemom

[FaithHopeLove]

Today's visit did not go well. My son is not motivated to change or accept help at all. He is still detoxing from Xanex. The psychiatrists and social worker impressed us as knowing what they are doing. But the bottom line is they can't keep him there forever. They are trying to talk him into drug treatment and therapy but he is no where near agreeing. So that is that. I am at the point of having to find a way to accept and somehow be at peace with the possibility I may lose him.

[Only Human]

Faith,

This has certainly been a roller coaster for you these past several days. I'm so sorry the visit didn't go well, that must've been disappointing. My heart goes out to you - one step forward, one step back.

Have you and H begin couple's counseling?

Hang in there, we are walking alongside you  

~ OH

[Swimmy55]

That is it , right there: fear of losing our loved one . That is terrifying and hanging over us.  I am right there with you, FaithHL, that sometimes all we can do is install proper boundaries and the rest is up to the sick adult kid.  You have done everything humanly possible.  The only thing I can think of is there is a 50:50 chance with our kids.  That means a 50% chance they can turn their lives around.  There are success stories.  However, you are doing right and that is the one thing you have to hold on to. Also hold on the fact he is not insisting on signing himself out at this time.  That is something.

[LoveOnTheRocks]

I agree with Swimmy that his not signing himself out of treatment now is HUGE.  My daughter has actually attempted suicide (but let people know she was doing it so she could be taken to the hospital) twice recently.  When she gets to the hospital, she has this imaginary place in her mind that they are going to send her to, and where she can feel good and happy, and instead, the doctors tell her she is attention seeking (which is actually the truth), and they are not all "loving and warm and fuzzy" with her and within 24 hours, she is demanding release.
I know she wants relief from her BPD and it's grip on her mind and life, and relief from the suicidal ideations she has all the time, but she refuses to accept what is the reality of treatment...it's not this warm and fuzzy love fest that she wants (which isn't anywhere in this world, frankly)...reality is much more difficult and hard.  In the meantime, every day your son tries to get some sort of treatment for himself is a HUGE thing.  I am happy for you and for him...but I am also aware of reality for us all, and it's scary and sad to think about...heavy subject...reality...

[FaithHopeLove]

Thanks for the feedback, LOTR. At this point my son is still involuntarily in the psych ward and will probably be there another week. The very good news is he has decided to voluntarily accept a 28 day drug rehab program that will also include therapy once he is discharged.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[LoveOnTheRocks]

That is great news. 

[JustYouWait]

Ok, gallows humor here, but:

 "I sure wish I didn’t know a thing about psych wards"

made me laugh, in the most not-funny-because-I'm-right-there-with-you way.



Same, sister.  Same.

Faith -

Good news about your son agreeing to rehab. 

As for the visit not going well - yeah.  That happens.  Happened to me a LOT.  Some visits were all light and airy, and some lasted less time than it took me to get through security. 

You don't control all the feelings in the room - only yours.


keep posting here.  we understand.

you're not alone

-jyw

[PeaceMom]

Faith,
I wanted to share something that helped me tremendously when my son was in full blown BP mania with psychosis. There is no scarier human state that I’m aware of. At the time I found an amazing support group called Families Healing Together and they taught us about a technique called Tonglon Meditation/breathing.
Essentially, when he and I were together and he was in deep distress and terrified, I would practice it-breathing positivity, calm, and peace all over him. I’m a Christian and this in no way conflicts with my beliefs as I function as Jesus’ hands and feet on earth. Please check it out if you are interested or disregard this. It’s a bit zen, for sure. Ha.

[FaithHopeLove]

Thanks Peace mom
I am also a Christian who meditates as well as prays. God gave us this gift.
Hugs
Faith