Estranged Mother

[Olivia Marie]

My BPD mother and I have been estranged for over a year. She blames me for "alienating" her from her grandchildren (my children). I would like to find resolution and reenter the relationship so that she can have a relationship with them, but she and I must first be on speaking terms. How do we build a bridge so that my kids can know her as their grandparent, but establish mutually beneficial boundaries? I would like to communicate again, but do not want to restart the cycle that led us to where we are now.

[Harri]

Hi and welcome!

Can you give us some more information about what causes her to say you are alienating her from your kids? 

Can you tell us more about what sort of problems there were?  The more specific you are the easier it will be to help you navigate a way to change your relationship.

Hope to hear more from you.

In the meantime, settle in and reason.  Check out the thread titled Lessons towards the top of this board.