Where do I start?

[Depression = 72% of members]

My wife has BPD. She was diagnosed a couple of years ago but we both kind of denied it. We didn't see the symptoms. However, she is currently in crisis and I can now see clearly how everything just fits. She is currently staying with her parents and is pushing me away. She doesn't talk much because every day she barely struggles to get out of bed due to her depression. she has been angry but she does not and has never lashed out at me or been abusive physically. She tried to break it off with me the other day but I told her I wasn't divorcing her, that I will be there for her no matter what because I love her and care about her. She told me I was right and she felt better that I wasn't leaving her but she still thought I could do better. I told her I knew she was pushing me away because she didn't think she was worth my love and attention. I have given her information regarding BPD and how to get help. She has finally reached out and made an appointment to see a counselor. I know she is not ready to talk to me or come home, but I text her a few times every day letting her know I was thinking of her and that I love her and miss her and I am there for her. Is there anything else that I can do?

[LoyalWifeOfBPD]

My wife has BPD. She was diagnosed a couple of years ago but we both kind of denied it. We didn't see the symptoms. However, she is currently in crisis and I can now see clearly how everything just fits. She is currently staying with her parents and is pushing me away. She doesn't talk much because every day she barely struggles to get out of bed due to her depression. she has been angry but she does not and has never lashed out at me or been abusive physically. She tried to break it off with me the other day but I told her I wasn't divorcing her, that I will be there for her no matter what because I love her and care about her. She told me I was right and she felt better that I wasn't leaving her but she still thought I could do better. I told her I knew she was pushing me away because she didn't think she was worth my love and attention. I have given her information regarding BPD and how to get help. She has finally reached out and made an appointment to see a counselor. I know she is not ready to talk to me or come home, but I text her a few times every day letting her know I was thinking of her and that I love her and miss her and I am there for her. Is there anything else that I can do?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[MiseryMarriage#3]

Wow.  That sounds painful.  You sound like a loving and supportive person.  I don't think there is anything else you can do except take care of yourself and go on with your life as best you can until she comes around. 

[MidLifCrysis1]

You can remain strong. That will be good for you and it will be good for your partner. In my experience, the BP looks to the partner for solidity and consistency to feel safer and stronger. Also, their positions can turn on a dime. So, if all of sudden, you end up back together, be glad about it, but also don't take it too strongly.

What I have learned so far, that has helped me, is to remember that BPs can exist in a world of extremes. Try not to get caught up in that. Look for the root of any given issue without looking at the swirling storm that may surround the issue.