I think my spouse has BPD

[Unsure35]

We have been married 37 years and it has been a roller coaster ride of ups and down.   We have been in couples counseling off and on for 37 + years.   Nothing seems to have worked.   Her latest episode of pushing me away and acting terrible to our 29 year old daughter started on 5/15 when she return from a religious pilgrimage to Europe.   It was like a light switch got turned off and she found fault with everyone I did.   Her anger of not being listened to turn more violent and was not just the usual negative verbal abuse.  She started slamming doors in our house and refusing to talk and so after one incident on 5/31/19 - I asked her to leave.  She went to her mother's house and has been leaving there since.  At first I thought she was a domestic abuser and I called her on it.
Here reaction on father's day was to say she had left me.  But as I come back to this site - I see her behavior well described.   I am ready to divorce her because I just can't seem to get thru and have a happy life - and as I told her I'm tired of the roller coaster marriage.   We had gone to Aruba in March 2019 for a week and had a lovely trip.   I am so emotionally drained from this that some days I feel suicidal - but I know it is only because of what appears to be the hopeless of it all.   Here I want to be a loving spouse - but she rejects me - makes up stories about events and has every convinced I am the abusive spouse.
I am at wits end...and can't take it any more

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.