DISSOCIATION AND BREAKUPS?

[Depression = 72% of members]

This is my first post and visit to Bpdfamily. I am here for support. My sons father, spouse of 8 years ended things abruptly. He has been diagnosed with Bi polar, yet meds never helped and his behaviors didnt match up. I believe he has BPD. He is seeking therapy to be re diagnosed if possible. This is not the first time he ended things, yet its been years since. He balanced out from weaning off meds that made things worse for him. It didn't fix his feeling of emptiness, thoughts of suicide, and the emotional rollercoaster he goes on with me. I understood after being apart for a year or 2, we found ways to take care of ourselves, until within 2 - 3 months he was not himself. I know something triggered him, and he basically spiraled. He changed, he shut off his emotions, avoided me by working and eventually ended things. Within 2 weeks he moved out of his parents house in which he stayed while working on himself, he pushed them away, me away and even his son! He feels detached he says. Dating 2 girls, and sleeping with them. Told me like its nothing. I am heartbroken, he never slept with another girl while we were together. He thinks he's not growing in our relationship, and i was the one taking it slow. He still says hes unhappy and can not connect with who he is dating. As if hearing that doesn't affect me. Im showing my support by not getting angry and hoping he seeks treatment but I am at home i am in alot of pain and holding alot of anxiety because this feels like living in a twilight zone. It happened so fast.

[AMARIE]

This is my first post and visit to Bpdfamily. I am here for support. My sons father, spouse of 8 years ended things abruptly. He has been diagnosed with Bi polar, yet meds never helped and his behaviors didnt match up. I believe he has BPD. He is seeking therapy to be re diagnosed if possible. This is not the first time he ended things, yet its been years since. He balanced out from weaning off meds that made things worse for him. It didn't fix his feeling of emptiness, thoughts of suicide, and the emotional rollercoaster he goes on with me. I understood after being apart for a year or 2, we found ways to take care of ourselves, until within 2 - 3 months he was not himself. I know something triggered him, and he basically spiraled. He changed, he shut off his emotions, avoided me by working and eventually ended things. Within 2 weeks he moved out of his parents house in which he stayed while working on himself, he pushed them away, me away and even his son! He feels detached he says. Dating 2 girls, and sleeping with them. Told me like its nothing. I am heartbroken, he never slept with another girl while we were together. He thinks he's not growing in our relationship, and i was the one taking it slow. He still says hes unhappy and can not connect with who he is dating. As if hearing that doesn't affect me. Im showing my support by not getting angry and hoping he seeks treatment but I am at home i am in alot of pain and holding alot of anxiety because this feels like living in a twilight zone. It happened so fast.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Carguy]

Being the partner (or ex partner as is my case) is a challenging and painful thing for sure!

I'm right here with you in that same pain as mine told me a week ago she was ending how are three and a half year relationship to see someone else and tonight when I talk to her and she started feeling her emotions for me it turned real negative and I she no longer wants any communication from me I told me she's moving to the city with this guy.

Borderlines personalities are very unpredictable at times. Right now I think you need to take care of you. I have found talking to a counselor has really helped me with understanding in this and doing a lot of reading online about this disorder. I have also started some new projects which seems to help me. Hobbies, projects, working out, whatever things make you happy is what you need to do right now.

I totally understand worrying and wanting to help the BPD! I so much would love to help my ex and have her come back into my life and be healthy but I can't heal her. This is something she has to do herself. All's I can do is if she decides to come back into contact with me is to be supportive of her.

 This site has a lot of excellent information and tools to help! It also has a lot of people who are in the same shoes as you and totally understand and care. You're not alone in this!

[Carguy]

Also, sorry if some of that did not make sense. My phone's voice to text is really dumb.