What's the best way to communicate when H is always angry and won't talk

[Jseeksanswers]

My BPD H has been so angry for the last month about everything.  He stopped going to counseling months ago and refuses to go to marriage counseling.  I've offered to just listen and let him talk but he doesn't talk about anything but stress at work (which is usually created ny his inability to finish what he started). Everyone is to blame for all of his problems except him.  For example he cancelled a trip with his brother-in-law half an hour before they were scheduled to go because a store was out of something he wanted to buy and then doesn't know why his brother-in-law is angry because it "wasn't his fault".
I've tried each morning starting the day off fresh and letting go of whatever happened the night before but I'm getting to the point that it's affecting me emotionally and physically.
We've been married 20+ years and I do go to counseling for me and ive read waking on eggshells.  I use I statements but nothing works sometimes.  Most conversations (of substance) result in him screaming or saying he doesn't want to talk about it and he just remains silent for hours or days.
I just don't know which reaction from me is best.  Just ignore him and not talk at all, talk only about the weather or keep pushing to have a meaningful conversation?

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[Radcliff]

I'm sorry to hear that the situation has started to impact you emotionally and physically.  Many of us have had similar experiences, and they are indeed tough situations.  Can you tell us a bit more about what you'd like to talk about with him?

RC