Really bad, Ex pwBPD attempted suicide five days ago.

[boogs152]

I’m not sure where to start here. Have posted multiple times. My pwBPD  and I split eight weeks ago

Ex pwBPD attempted suicide five days ago. Drove head on into a concrete truck at night speed then rushed to hospital. Subsequent second suicide attempt in hospital.
I went to see him the day of the accident after eight weeks no contact.
The accident was so bad that his leg is completely crushed and will be unable to walk for 18 months then have a permanent limp.
I’ve been playing a supportive role and we appear to have gotten back together. He’s still suicidal and wishes he’d died in the accident.

I don’t know what to say. I honestly don’t know what to say. What does one do?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Harri]

Hi boogs.  I am so sorry for what happened to him and for what you are both dealing with.

I’ve been playing a supportive role and we appear to have gotten back together. He’s still suicidal and wishes he’d died in the accident.

Do you want to get back together?  You can play a supporting role if you choose and still not be in a romantic relationship.

How long is he in the hospital for?  Are they addressing his mental health issues as well?

 

[I Am Redeemed]

I'm sorry to hear about this, boogs. I know this must be very hard for you.

I was wondering the same things as Harri. What do you want to do? Do you want to resume the relationship?

Does his T know what happened?

[boogs152]

Yes his therapist knows. She was greatly concerned. In regards to being in a relationship with C* I think atthis stage it was be almost impossible to be near him in not engage in some type of intimate relationship. There is also an underlying friendship there.

I’m playing things by ear at this stage. There is a lot of processing happening in my mains right now. I’m doing a great deal of observations too. I’ve had nearly eight weeks of space and perhaps a shift in perspective. I’m not sure exactly what that perspective is. Time will tell.

[SinisterComplex]

Well Boogs I will say do what you must and I truly just wish the best outcome for you. There is no saying the right thing in this situation or saying something smooth. I can only hope and wish for the best for the both of you. You do have my support. Stay strong. Keep your head up.

Cheers and best wishes and I sincerely wish you a safe and happy holidays despite the roller coaster of recent events.

-SC-

[boogs152]

Hi everyone


Sorry for disappearing. It was over two weeks ago that C* attempted to take his own life on two occasions. Since then I have been juggling full time work and trying to be with him in hospital which is a three hour drive interstate.
It’s been an emotional time. Both C* and I have shared some candid conversations. Truthful moments. Tear filled moments. I’ve seen him at his most raw in recent days. He is still very much suicidal and still thinks of ways of acting on his suicidal thoughts.
I asked him to call his clinical psychologist. He has resisted this suggestion. After much consideration I asked why he was resistant to re engaging with her. His response was that he felt a great degree of shame. I told him that it was so important that he try to rise above his shame and to call her to arrange appointments especially during times of
distress as she grounds him significantly. He seemed triggered by the suggestion and acted withdrawn so I left it alone. I decided to let him think it over for an hour. Not long afterwards he asked me to get his phone and he called her immediately. I was so proud of him and expressed this repeatedly.
I Made him promise me that he wouldn’t cause harm to himself and stay strong until he spoke to his psychologist at length.
I don’t know if he can keep this promise and at times I get such an anxious flood of emotions rush through my body. I realise that ultimately I cannot stop another from taking their own life. I get it.

It will be a month until I see him again now. I have so much work that I’m committed to until the end of January.

Anyway thats an update...

Thankyou everyone for being so supportive. Your words have been reassuring.

[I Am Redeemed]

I'm glad that he made the call. Is he still in the hospital?

Does he have a mental health treatment plan in place?

[boogs152]

Yes he is still in hospital. His injuries from the accident were so bad that he will remain in rehabilitation for three months until his leg has improved. All his medications will be strictly monitored in coming months so I expect him to “level out” in due course.
He will be linked with a community mental health team this week.

One thing C* mentioned is that he’s bored with the conversations with Psychiatrists and that he just wishes to move on with his life.
Any thoughts on this?

[boogs152]

Hi everyone,


I’m here with another update. PwBPD has been in Hospital for six weeks and will remain there for an undetermined amount of time. He awaits more surgeries due to the injuries he sustained from the car accident. He was told that he won’t walk for 18 months and thereafter have a permanent limp.

He was originally admitted at the hospital under the mental health act and was on 24hr suicide watch for ten days. After that period he was interviewed by a hospital psychiatrist and deemed to be mentally “okay” or no longer a risk to himself or others. This was negligent in my opinion but what can I do? THe head nurse in his ward wanted him sectioned but the psychiatrist wasn’t interested in supporting her concerns.

Fast forward to now ... things seems be less emotionally charged and the pressure surrounding the circumstances of this situation have eased .PwBPD has received a small amount of visitors on occasions and this has helped him somewhat. He does spend hours alone in his hospital bed with little interest in the outside world. He’s not motivated to take care of himself. Logic and reason falls short currently.

He’s not ready to talk to his clinical psychologist. He did call her once after I asked him to call her. When he did call her he pulled out of the conversation and said he would be back in touch once he felt more “settled”
I’m not going to push him to seek therapy at this stage. He has engaged in therapy all year and I think it’s made things worse. Does anyone care to share their opinion on this?
Should I possibly be suggesting that he seek an online support group instead? Any advice is welcome.


Thanks