I have fallen for a girl with bpd and I want her back but im don't know what to

[Jayjayjay]

I met her in a mental hospital she was in a diffrent ward we both smoke so I seen her outside while we were smoking I got friendly with her we started going on walks then she told me she liked me we kissed I then she tried to kill herself on pain killers I was with her all day at the main hospital then came the honey moon phase said she wanted to marry me and have kids then came the devaule phase

She made then I found out she was talking to her ex bf i she was out of the mental hospital I called her I overreacted a bit I ask her if she wanted to be with him instead of me she said she would stop talking to him and I love you...I'm not controlling I get jealous so I got paranoid she I got another girl to comment on my Facebook status .at the time I just thought she's amazing and thought she would leave me for her ex or another guy because we met in that place I got her flowers left at her door step and then we went back to being friends

We still talked I visited her at her home asked if we could get back together she said she wanted to see who we got on outside of hospital its confusing because she was calling me in the middle of the night and telling when she's better we could try again after that I Facebook messaged her told her to keep in touch and then she mailed me asking if I could help her move house I said yes she told me her other ex was helping her moved I still said yes because she told me a guy she thought was her friend raped her in that house she moved without my help so I thought she got back together with her ex

So I stopped chasing then I few days again she mailed me asking how I was I didn't respond straight away I waited one day


What I find confusing is I'm trying to play it cool but if I do that she will think I don't care but if I do chase her too much Shel think I'm needy and destorate I don't know what to do just I want her back I'm happy without her in my life I'm reaching my goals and finding meaning in life but also I miss her so much I just want to be with her she's stunning kind hearted little bit of a geek she loves star wars but I love those qualitys I know she will be hard work but I like the fact she's a little crazy

Just she also has bipolar so does her mum and she also told me her dad mentally phsyically and sexual abused her she self harms too I don't cared about the scars she had the qualitys I want in a girlfriend just I haven't seen her since January and watched flims like 500 days of summer and no strings attached just I do think I love her but if it doesn't work out then I'm expecting it I would love for it to work out the way it does in the movies but that's not likey to happen Im a bit of a hopless romantic but I always face the facts I have ADHD so I can understand bpd I little I know if she's being nasty not to walk away because she think I don't love her but wtf can I do to get her back I want to chase her but I'm scared it might push her away

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[once removed]

take things day by day.

So I stopped chasing then I few days again she mailed me asking how I was I didn't respond straight away I waited one day

what happened? what did you say? what did she say?