I still love my ex girlfriend who suffers from BPD

[Jayjayjay]

She also has bipolar when we were a couple I treated her nice and she said she backs off when a guy is too nice

When I have strong feelings I treat them well because I want to be with them I'm a nice guy

But I met her in a mental health hosptial she was in a diffrent ward we both smoke so I met her smoking outside we became friends started going on walks then she told me she liked me so I kissed her and we became a couple

I wasn't going to make a move till we were both out of hospital she took a overdose on painkillers I was at the main hospital all day that was the honeymoon phase said she wanted to marry me then she needed space problem was we were both still in hospital

So the devaule phase she made me jealous by flirting with another guy she we were both outside smoking she's laughing and joking with another guy and walked by me didn't say hello so she kinda tested me I spoke to her about it I kinda overreacted I said sorry but I wasn't being nasty

Then I found out she still spoke to her ex before we became a couple she told me he cheated on her and she was out of hospital I called her asked her if she wanted to be with him instead of me she said she loved me then I made her jealous with another girl I fought if she knew other girls were interested she would get jealous she said she just puts up walls

I got her flowers left them outside her house it cheered her up then she broke up with me said she wanted to start over so I kept in touch I she invited me to vist her I did it was a few days after her brithday I got her a card and a cake she looked so happy when she open the card

Then we went to her bedroom to watch a flim she changed her chlothes right infront of me I didn't make a move I asked her if we could get back together

She said she wanted to see how we got on outside of hospital so we're still friends

She got raped in her house off a guy who she thought was her friend that's another reason I didn't try anything so she moved house her ex helped her move she asked me if I could help I said yes but she got her friend who is pregnant instead  of me helping

She Facebook mailed me a few days ago asking how I have been I waited 1 day before replying

And I'm not sure what to do play it cool I think if I act if I don't care she will back off and on the other hand I don't want to get friend zoned or her to back off incase she's scared of getting hurt

I mailed her asking how she's been getting on and hope everything is good


She told me her mom is bipolar and her dad mentally physically  and sexually abused her she didn't tell me about her dad raping her till we became a couple when she told me that I was shocked she asked why I made that face I was suprized she told me that after a few month I kissed her that was kinda my way of showing her it didn't change how I felt about her


It's just starting over and getting to know her we are better off as friends for the now but because I'm her ex she might not want to see me and better now just the timeing was off getting into a relationship in a mental hospital I just didn't want her to think all I wanted was sex she touched my heart in a way no other girl has and changed my view on life I have learned you should be happy with your life before getting into a relanship and I have learned to love myself so I can love and if I don't receive the love and affection it won't bother me because of bpd I wasn't sure if she was losing interest but I want to try again with her besides from us hurting each other's feelings the rest where good times she's the type of girl I have always wanted and I like girls who are little crazy love her madness never met a girl like her and I think I love her just want her to be happy like when she was talking to her ex if she gets back with him I hope he treats her good and makes her happy I would prefer if she was with me I would never cheat on her I know I can treat her better but I think she's confused

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