Therapists missing the signs?

[Nongler4545]

Hi I’ve posted here before and had some great feedback and pointers, it’s coming up to 12 months post break up from my bpd ex and I can’t say it’s been easy, it was the best relationship I’ve had but also the worst, the more I’ve looked back and reviewed the relationship the more I see those red flags I ignored, the erratic mood swings, the love bombing and of course the devaluation which i wouldn’t wish on anyone, it was done in such a passive aggressive way it throws you at the time but looking back I can’t believe how obvious it was.

My ex deep down is a lovely girl and comes from a great family but her traumas as a child are plain to see, she did used to see a therapist about 2 years before we met as she had a breakdown and this therapist over a few months helped her get back on her feet so to speak, but my ex always said she has depression and anxiety and nothing else.

After being in our relationship for 6 months and she had already on at least 5 occasions showed her dark side, she decided to see her old therapist, she only went once and refused to talk to me about it, however I was on her iPad looking for pictures she had taken for things she wanted me to sell for her and I saw she took a picture of the whiteboard the therapist wrote on, it all had different triggers in her life like me, family, work, alcohol etc and next to each one was an arrow pointing to the words “little *****” the stars are her name, so the therapist by the looks of it was starting to pick up on the emotional immaturity? Which is a huge trait for BPD. I wonder could this therapist have told her she believes she has borderline and that’s the reason my ex never went back?

I just feel she was misdiagnosed in the early years as depression but this therapist finally started to hit the right track with her?

It’s sad, I just wish she would have carried on with that therapist.

For me I’m doing ok, keeping myself busy and doing a qualification and keeping myself fit, I think about her every day, but the pull from her is weak now although I do worry when we will bump in to each other, I don’t want to get sucked back in.