Hello Overwhelmed73
I join
Livednlearned in reaching out to you to say so, so sorry about what is happening in your house because of your daughter. Indeed it sounds like she is out of control, has taken the reins and is running with them. To be so intoxicated and so violent that she had to be hospitalized, then to wake up the next morning saying she has no memory of why she there is a head-shaker.
First and foremost, Overwhelmed73, your safety and that of your 11-year old son is the most important thing. Her threats to kill you and him have to be take seriously. To take her anger out on your son's innocent pet is disturbing...a red flag.

I have read through your previous posts and I am lead to believe that your daughter has not been officially diagnosed as having a mental illness but you recognize some of the traits. There are lots of us here, me included, who share that same kind of story.
You write...
"they will not do anything until she is sober at which point a crisis worker will come and speak to her"...also tells me that what happened last night has happened at least once before.
You write that your daughter is 21 and questions come to my mind. Has she ever lived out on her own? Does she have a job or are you having to support her? Do you have other family support?
As heartbreaking as it may sound to even think about choosing between your children, your 11-yr old son has to be thought of first. He is being exposed to violent behaviour and he can well learn from it. He needs/deserves a safe environment in which to live.
There are no quick fixes to this, Overwhelmed73. Any/all decisions about how to proceed are yours. With that said, I hope you continue to use this forum as a sounding board. YOU need to be heard...validated...encouraged to make changes that need to start happening.
Many, many ((HUGS)

to you, fellow Mom. At the best of times what you and the rest of us here have to deal with in regards to our troubled children is difficult...but even more so now with the times forced upon us.
Huat
