I feel like a failure

[Aprilshowers]

I feel like a failure because I can’t figure this out. As soon as I feel like maybe I’m making progress then we have a big fight and I fail to do all the things I have to do, like just step away from the conversation early and often. I stepped away once, early, but then missed several opportunities to leave again, and instead stayed in a conversation that devolved to a horrible, traumatic fight. We did get to a better place and sooner than we used to. But I’m feeling traumatized and so mad at myself for not preventing it better. And also just feeling sad that this is true, that I may never be able to have a normal disagreement with my spouse, that I’ll always have to be vigilant...

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.