What do I do to help seperated wife

[Nowisthetime1]

 

Seperated wife has bpd. I find myself partly the blame. Been married for over 10 years and when we first met online she threatened suicide. I later found out her mother did this as a ploy to get help. She told me since she was 2 she had abandonment issues and would cry/wet the bed. Her mother would whoop her just for asking for help. Her dad was the one who loved her as he’d pull mom off her several times. She once had her wrist broke and had to wait in pain for 8 hours until dad came home to take her to hospital. She has 3 siblings and one with special needs who always had issues with ambulance always at house with the parents focusing on him. Father He dies at 13 in the house  from cancer and she’s there to witness it. Mom moved in a ex con 3 months later and she catches em screwing subsequently made to leave the house with her brother. Sorry just some context. We met online and she the attention she gave our conversations would last forever. She said she was nothing like her mother and like a dummy I believed her. I’m in the southeast US and she from the Southern Hemisphere. We talk online , text I go there meet her and she comes here and doesn’t leave. She had nowhere to go and so I married her. The relationship was in upheaval from the start and  we talked a lot about death. She said her mother told her she wishes she were never born and almost died in placenta. Dad left over a million for her and mom took it all and let ex con use damn near all of it. So anyway we’d have a few happy moments her getting ged, working on her education but always needing attention and wanting to be a baby. Every year at Christmas time except once or twice major depression would set in about father and she’d go silent be depressed. Out of 10 years married slept on couch for 5 with dog . I did end up kissing another woman and talking to her about this which was terrible on my part. That was wrong  and I shouldn’t have done it and I told her I found someone else and that was it.  I would tell her to find someone else just because I couldn’t help her. Seeing your wife depressed wanting her dad and family back the way it was and wishing she were dead takes a toll on anyone and I didn’t know what to do.I can’t bring her dad back and make life how it was.  I just figured she’d overcome it. was 2 years ago almost and since then she’s been on the cock carousel. I have 2?dogs there with her and she said she wanted a divorce. She’s had counseling before avd been on meds and has always stopped. I ask her to go back and she won’t since she’s out of a job. In 2 years she’s had 9-11 jobs. She had been talking to several men and won’t leave phone up. When I have gone there she’s on her phone in bedroom all the time door locked. I asked her to get help so we could at least have the relationship have a modicum of health before this decision is made. She’s not interested. What can be done to get her to get help ? Help . She told me to contact Bpd support with a phone years ago but I thought I can handle it. Im a man but I can’t handle it I found out. Help

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.