I reached out to bio mom after telling her that I didn’t want anymore contact

[JNChell]

I’ve made a generic FB account and have reached back out to my bio mom. I’m not sure what my goal is, so maybe this was an impulsive move. I guess that I just feel like I have to know something. When I communicated with her in the past, I didn’t have very good communication skills, and most likely came across as a victim of abuse, and I think that she took this on personally or thought that I was projecting it on to her. I wasn’t.

I just want to have an honest conversation with my biological mother.

[Kwamina]

Hi JNChell

Have you heard anything from your mother?

You say you want to have an honest conversation with her and feel like you just have to know something. What is it that you want to know from her?

The Board Parrot

[JNChell]

Hey, Kwamina. I haven’t heard anything back. Maybe I didn’t navigate FB properly, or it’s simply not going to happen. I ended it the last time with her. I can’t blame her for not wanting to reconnect. Hell, I don’t even know if she’s alive.

I’m not sure what I want to hear from her. Honesty, I suppose. You know, when we made contact in the beginning, she was very forward. She would tell me how she wanted to look into my eyes. She told me that she loved me and that she loved my son. That was confusing. She said terrible things about my bio dad, but he was 17 when they got pregnant. As the conversations progressed, she asked about my childhood. I told her. Her immediate response was “Im not responsible for that.” I never thought that she was. She’s on her third husband and has children with 3 different men. I don’t mean any disrespect to any readers, but no, my mom wasn’t responsible. Neither one of them.

It was 1976. The first and last time I felt her skin. I’m not trying to sound weird. Science and psychology are close friends.

I don’t really know what I want from her. Maybe just look her in the face.