Looking Back on the last two years

[Our abuse recovery guide]

I recently began reconnecting with old friends through social media. Its like I have been in a fog, even after I thought I already was over the fog. Its so nice to reconnect with old friends. I finally am peeking my head out again and it feels nice. I told one of my old friend it has been a hectic couple of years. I began reflecting on it and it almost seems like all the destruction and attacks by the bpd person in my life were so bad they couldn't be real. And they still want to be in my life and want reconciliation. Its pretty crazy when people who you thought were friends are turned into bpd flying monkeys, reporting back to the bpd. I'm more mature after going through this torture the last few years, Im coming out of it stronger. I am no longer willing to hide. If I could share openly with my friend, This is the story. But I am ashamed to tell my story, and also don't want anything I say to be used against me. The bpd is very clever. My lawyer advised me to say only a couple of lines about the situation. But, this is a lot more private so its the only place I can tell my story. It would be too overwhelming to tell the story of how chaotic the bpd is, its so disgusting I can't think about the bpd's life. As for my story. This is what the bpd has done to my life. Two years ago I had enough of the BPD's crap and let the bpd know we weren't going to be close anymore unless they fixed their bad behavior. Here is the bpd's response over the last two years in list format. Went to the CSO of the company I was working for and told God knows what to him and his wife. I ended up being managed out of that high paying great job. I started a consulting firm. bpd called my contact and I lost my first consulting gig after 2-1/2 months of work. We decided to move away, that got ruined. We moved to another place. She befriended our real estate agent and sabotaged the sale of our home. We had to move back. She turned my pastor against me, my family, her family. Yeah I guess I will stop there. Its all I can handle to talk about. What a complete demon possessed maniac. That is like 18% of what she did. Very bad, very toxic and evil. Ruined many of the relationships that I had. They still think she is great and report everything back to her. I have found that smart people understand. And stupid people become flying monkeys. Don't need any flying monkey type people in my life. Stand your ground with the bpd people. You are not alone, cut out the toxic people and keep the true good friends.

[Benaiah]

I recently began reconnecting with old friends through social media. Its like I have been in a fog, even after I thought I already was over the fog. Its so nice to reconnect with old friends. I finally am peeking my head out again and it feels nice. I told one of my old friend it has been a hectic couple of years. I began reflecting on it and it almost seems like all the destruction and attacks by the bpd person in my life were so bad they couldn't be real. And they still want to be in my life and want reconciliation. Its pretty crazy when people who you thought were friends are turned into bpd flying monkeys, reporting back to the bpd. I'm more mature after going through this torture the last few years, Im coming out of it stronger. I am no longer willing to hide. If I could share openly with my friend, This is the story. But I am ashamed to tell my story, and also don't want anything I say to be used against me. The bpd is very clever. My lawyer advised me to say only a couple of lines about the situation. But, this is a lot more private so its the only place I can tell my story. It would be too overwhelming to tell the story of how chaotic the bpd is, its so disgusting I can't think about the bpd's life. As for my story. This is what the bpd has done to my life. Two years ago I had enough of the BPD's crap and let the bpd know we weren't going to be close anymore unless they fixed their bad behavior. Here is the bpd's response over the last two years in list format. Went to the CSO of the company I was working for and told God knows what to him and his wife. I ended up being managed out of that high paying great job. I started a consulting firm. bpd called my contact and I lost my first consulting gig after 2-1/2 months of work. We decided to move away, that got ruined. We moved to another place. She befriended our real estate agent and sabotaged the sale of our home. We had to move back. She turned my pastor against me, my family, her family. Yeah I guess I will stop there. Its all I can handle to talk about. What a complete demon possessed maniac. That is like 18% of what she did. Very bad, very toxic and evil. Ruined many of the relationships that I had. They still think she is great and report everything back to her. I have found that smart people understand. And stupid people become flying monkeys. Don't need any flying monkey type people in my life. Stand your ground with the bpd people. You are not alone, cut out the toxic people and keep the true good friends.

[Kwamina]

Hi Benaiah

A week has passed since you made this post. How are you feeling now?

Here is the bpd's response over the last two years in list format. Went to the CSO of the company I was working for and told God knows what to him and his wife. I ended up being managed out of that high paying great job. I started a consulting firm. bpd called my contact and I lost my first consulting gig after 2-1/2 months of work. We decided to move away, that got ruined. We moved to another place. She befriended our real estate agent and sabotaged the sale of our home. We had to move back. She turned my pastor against me, my family, her family.

You haven't shared everything yet because this was already getting overwhelming, but what you've shared here is very extreme behavior indeed. Your uBPD MIL really seems to have gone to great lengths to try and sabotage your career and relationships and threaten your livelihood.

This is your first post here in a long time so welcome back When you first joined you said you were NC with your uBPD MIL. How is the situation now? Have you had any contact with her since you last posted here about a year ago?

Take care

The Board Parrot

[zachira]

I read your post and feel sad about how your ex with BPD has turned so many people against you. I come from a family with lots of immediate and extended family with BPD with strong narcissistic traits. It has helped me to learn about Bill Eddy's perspectives on "negative advocates", a term he coined for people who believe another person's negative stories about another person without hearing the other side, and who sometimes can be persuaded to think otherwise if given another perspective within a reasonable period of time. I have learned that people tend to believe what they hear especially if there is a lot of emotion attached to what they are saying. On one side of my family, there are six generations of dysfunctional dynamics with some chosen as the golden children who can do no wrong, and some chosen as the scapegoat children who can do no right. I find most people like to align with the golden children, though there are those who really get it. Overall, I would say that people who bad mouth others are not good news, especially when they insist that the other person has to totally take their side. Often times, when I have talked to people whom I respect and know my family members, they are sympathetic to my plight with my family members yet let me know that they want to be free to make up their own minds, which I respect. I tell people I don't expect them to feel about my family members the way I do.
It sounds to me like the flying monkeys are immature and would never have a balanced perspective of their own. I find it helps to briefly share my experience though this can be difficult when we don't know what is being said about us. Who do you have in your life now that you can trust to be fair to you?
Two years is a long time, and you have learned a lot along the way. I think as time goes forward you will find better people in your life, who will not likely buy into so easily to someone bad mouthing others without having a balanced perspective on what is going on.