Contacting the text romantik Victors to offer insight and support

[Lenny Gaga]

I am a survivor of a cruel BPD ex GF. I have learned of the identity of her New victim whom she had live in 2 weeks later..in the pandemic. I want to contact him as a resource I did not have...when she rejects him. Bad ldea?

[Martin 123]

Hi Lenny i understand the feeling of being hurt like this. But think it over. The person you talk may not be that interesed in listening to you even if he understand about her ilness. This would´t repair anything and it can possibly lead to more conflict. I felt revengeful at first and started making twisted plans. But after 2 short months i realized its not worth it and it probably mess you more. So i quit. Think about meeting someone without a mental ilness, delete her mementos and go through the grief period which will pass! After you´ve gotten rid of the venom you´ll feel like you again and would not want anything to do with her anymore.

[Panda39]

If her ex had reached out to you in a similar way when you first got together how would you have felt?  Would you have believed him?

I think you would just be stirring up a hornet's nest. 

Focus on taking care of you.

Panda39

[Lucky Jim]

I agree with Martin123 and Panda39: don't pull on the tiger's tail.

Your task is not to stir up additional drama, but to disengage.

LuckyJim

[once removed]

I want to contact him as a resource I did not have

i did too.

what do you want to say, if you could?

[JNChell]

Something important to know here. If she did it to you, she’ll do it to another. This is where you don’t take the rejection personally. This is where you cool your jets, calm down and talk. This community is peer based, meaning that most of the members here have been through something very similar to what you’re going through.

Do not contact the new boyfriend. Look at it this way. If her ex bf before you  would’ve tried to warn you, would you have listened? Or would you have been wrapped up in the ecstasy? Even if you try, it won’t matter in the way that you want it to. It will hurt you more if you try to do that.