H really losing it

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Good idea from GaGrl about putting the suitcase in the car.

That way you've got the option to just walk out the door, given that you have your phone and keys handy.

Maybe he will have had enough time to cool off and come to his senses in the meantime.

Definitely get something to eat and do what you need to relax.

[Cat Familiar]

Good idea from GaGrl about putting the suitcase in the car.

That way you've got the option to just walk out the door, given that you have your phone and keys handy.

Maybe he will have had enough time to cool off and come to his senses in the meantime.

Definitely get something to eat and do what you need to relax.

[Harri]

Hi Ozzie.

I think you are handling this well even if it may not feel like it.  

If you do decide to leave for the night, do you have your own car?   We can help you figure out where to go.  Hotel/motel, stay in car, friend, family, come to my place, etc.  

It is good that you have a therapy appointment.  Is it the same T you saw a while back about DV?  I think maintaining therapy appointments is going to be important.  Don't bend on this one.

[I Am Redeemed]

I agree with putting the suitcase in the car. And triggering his abandonment fears are less important than your safety, so do what you have to do to stay safe. Do you still have contact with the dv services? Could you maybe check in with them for their input?

Also, is it possible he's been drinking again?

[Mutt]

Borderline. He doesn’t sound violent. But, for instance, at one point he asked if my lawyer sister was at our house. I said no. He said “Oh? So if my lawyer’s surveillance team says something different?”

I want to get your opinion Ozzie101. Is it possible that he’s trying to fish for information because he sounds worried about you talking to your sister. Does he think that maybe you’re talking to your sister that is a lawyer and that you might be planning to divorce him? As you already know, abandonment perceived are a trigger for a pwBPD, I’m sure that it’s more complicated than this because maybe I’m not seeing something .

What do you think?

[Ozzie101]

I put everything in my car, just in case.

I do think he may have been drinking. He just called and sounded rather slurred. Asked me to hold on, then never said another word. He sounded sad and kind of pathetic — not angry.

If I leave, I’ll probably go to my sister or parents at this point, given the time. It’s almost 8 pm here. Though a hotel would be less volatile and threatening.

The T I’m seeing does have experience with DV but I haven’t called the DV center itself in a year.

He might be afraid of my leaving. I’ve been less triggered by him lately. Maybe he sees that as detaching.

[Cat Familiar]

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