marching forward with timesharing - how often does judge not use rec of the GAL

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

So after an angry exchange with D8 psychologist in front of our daughter the GAL is recommending sleepovers begin again because dxstbeH has been putting on a show for the supervisor for the few hours she is there.  Meantime the GAL told me in February that H would need to work with existing psych and OT to learn about kids special needs...not only has he not worked with them but he has been trying to have those two and the speech pathologist fired for the last year...but yet she is going to recommend my guess is around 40%...we have a trial date in October...the judge is a good judge, own child has bad anxiety and he himself is a 50/50 dad...he threatened my ex with the Baker act if he threatened suicide again...meantime in may the 8 year old tells me she is really worried that daddy will do something dangerous or inappropriate to hurt himself because he told her something she refuses to repeat.  So we have a lot of evidence...guy wrote down every thought to me for years right up until he filed...and then there is all the poor judgement and anger and all that he has displayed the last year...leaving kids alone in cars and restaurants and not working with professionals and generally not involved with school or their therapies or activities etc...question is has anyone heard of a judge (he is new to family law but a respected smart guy) not listen to rec of both CE and the GAL (they will align) and give less time then recommended? Both the GAL and the CE are well respected but both pro dad...we have a lot of documentation and the teachers and kids professionals have a lot to say that supports our arguments...just seems in florida that unless you beat someone or fail a drug test they just march right up to 50/50?

[leftunsaid]

So after an angry exchange with D8 psychologist in front of our daughter the GAL is recommending sleepovers begin again because dxstbeH has been putting on a show for the supervisor for the few hours she is there.  Meantime the GAL told me in February that H would need to work with existing psych and OT to learn about kids special needs...not only has he not worked with them but he has been trying to have those two and the speech pathologist fired for the last year...but yet she is going to recommend my guess is around 40%...we have a trial date in October...the judge is a good judge, own child has bad anxiety and he himself is a 50/50 dad...he threatened my ex with the Baker act if he threatened suicide again...meantime in may the 8 year old tells me she is really worried that daddy will do something dangerous or inappropriate to hurt himself because he told her something she refuses to repeat.  So we have a lot of evidence...guy wrote down every thought to me for years right up until he filed...and then there is all the poor judgement and anger and all that he has displayed the last year...leaving kids alone in cars and restaurants and not working with professionals and generally not involved with school or their therapies or activities etc...question is has anyone heard of a judge (he is new to family law but a respected smart guy) not listen to rec of both CE and the GAL (they will align) and give less time then recommended? Both the GAL and the CE are well respected but both pro dad...we have a lot of documentation and the teachers and kids professionals have a lot to say that supports our arguments...just seems in florida that unless you beat someone or fail a drug test they just march right up to 50/50?

[worriedStepmom]

A lot of times, officials err on the side of giving more time, and then, if the parent can't meet expectations, they reel it back in.  Unfortunately, this means that in the short-term kids suffer.

One of my friends has an NPD ex.  He started out with the standard 40/60 custody agreement, but after 18 months and multiple hearings, the GAL sees through him and is recommending zero contact with the kids.

Your L should be able to question the experts to find out why they are recommending overnights given that your ex hasn't met expectations X, Y, and Z.

[livednlearned]

Sometimes the judge will rule more generously in the beginning to see if the parents can pull themselves together once the sunlight is shining on everyone.

But if I'm following correctly, the judge who will determine custody is the same one threatening to Baker act your ex?

And their are multiple third-party professionals involved who feel he can spend unsupervised time with the kids?

To clarify, was the person who had the angry exchange with D8's psychologist your ex?

If it's any consolation, there seems to be a trend with BPD dads here where they fight for custody and then fail to use what's given to them. The same week my ex was fighting for more custody he was asking me to take (then) S10 for his weekend without asking to swap for another time. It takes a tremendous amount of effort for impulsive people prone to emotionally dysregulate to parent well.

My ex ended up fighting in court because it was a way to deal with his grief -- not effectively, just the only way he knew how. It seemed to be separate from wanting to actually show up as a fully functioning parent. He wasn't able to do that during the marriage and he most certainly could not do it after the divorce.