Can embarrassment cause a dysregulation?

[commongarden]

I am wondering if pwBPD can be triggered with embarrassment?  My SO and I were putting a new light in over my bathtub. We had been having a wonderful evening. He turned awkwardly to get out of the large tub and fell quite hard.  This is a very agile, athletic man.  I first made sure he was okay when I was sure he was I tried to make a joke about him needing to be as agile as me. It was totally in jest.   He left the house immediately and I haven't heard from him since. I feel terrible.  I am always kidding around.  One of the delights of our relationship is that we share humor.

Of course, worried that he is gone forever.

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[Melissinde]

Hey commongarden,

My understanding is that a lot of pwBPD struggle with shame, self-depreciation and a lack of self worth. This is the case for my boyfriend, for instance. He jokes a lot about himself, I joke about him to sometimes and most of the time it goes well... and others it can trigger him into dysregulation because he was more emotionally fragile in that moment or I touched a soft spot.

When this happens I try to reassure him (face to face if he's here, or by message if he's not), I say I'm sorry if I hurt him and that I was only jesting and not judging him, and try to understand why he was hurt by this joke specifically.