Pregnant and partner has BPD

[Lucy Loo]

I have been with my BPD partner for 5 years, undiagnosed but I am positive this is his mental health condition.
In this time I have experienced chaos and struggled with their drug/alcohol abuse and jealousy. I have seen my partner go through multiple jobs (all in the same high stress industry).
Last month my Mother passed away after a year of battling cancer. A week later I found out I was pregnant with my partners child (I have been faithful and loyal the entire relationship). Right before I took the test I was at my wits end with my partners coping mechanisms, verbalizing I wanted out of the relationship. My partner proceeded to get high and drunk to cope and lashed out physically and verbally (not the first time).
Finding out about the pregnancy has made me spiral into a depression. I'm 40 and understand that conceiving under these conditions and at my age is a miracle, not to mention a blessing after my Mothers passing. However, my partners inability to seek help, the instability of his job history and my patience have burnt me out. I want to keep the baby but worry about my future and worry about having my partner remain in my life as a constant with this child. Please help.
Feeling hopeless. Family and friends do not approve of my relationship are supportive otherwise of the baby and my decision. I'm falling out of love with my partner because although he has been one of my greatest allies and nurturers at times his illness has beaten me down

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.