Preparing for divorce and full of anxiety

[Princesat]

I’m at the point where I know that I need to divorce (17 years) but am paralyzed by fear and guilt, and I recognize how easily I can be manipulated with those feelings and my own co-dependency. I can get right to the edge of this decision but struggle immensely with the courage to cross over the line and actually initiate the divorce. The charming and splitting turn me upside down every time. I feel as though I’ve been building a bridge out since the very start of this marriage and can’t tell if I’m getting closer and should just stay the course bit by bit (even if it takes a couple more years) or if I just somehow need to some way gather the whatever-it-is to light the fire and just get out no matter what comes my way.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

Whether you stay or you go, learning strategies to minimize conflict will be helpful. For that reason, I'm moving your thread to the Bettering Board. The more you can have a clear head to make such a momentous decision, the better.

Best, Cat

[once removed]

tell us more.

what is going on, day to day?

what has you wanting to divorce him?

what has you wanting to stay?