Emotional Conversations

[Chubba]

I’m struggling with my partner. Sometimes when he is expressing himself, I don’t know what to say. I second guess everything to the point where I end up not saying anything at all for fear that I may end up making a situation worse. It is causing a huge strain in our relationship. Now he thinks I don’t care and don’t love him. It feels like I never have the right words. I want to be there for him so he knows he isn’t alone. How do I respond to intense situations without causing a Major mood swing?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Brooklyn1974]

Have you read the lessons on this site?  Have you read up on JADE and SET?  Have you done the research into validating when he is emotional or talking about a situation that requires it?  Validating is huge and cannot express this enough.  Use 'I' not 'You'.  For example he is telling you he is having a bad day, a good response would be: 'I understand you are not having a great day, I'm sorry you are feeling this way, is there anything I can do to help?'

You don't have to validate every time he talks to you but when you feel a situation needs that attention.  Think of it as a thermometer and when you feel he's at that certain point then you use validation.