Self-care and wellness tips

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hello,
I had an account here years ago and all the folks here really helped me out a bunch w/ pwbpd and my own codependency problems. I cannot recall any of the registration info so I began a new account.
I am a bit of a dinosaur in terms of staying in a M in spite of the challenges inherent in such a M, all that 'for better and worse' intentions still quite resonate with the romantic side of me (I know, unrealistic and self-defeating!).  Anyway, I am learning and, using the recommended resources and strategies, I have been able to maintain and even at times it seems grow this M, but I do not have any illusions that the day may come when it is perhaps unsustainable and have and still am preparing for it. Not that it preoccupies me, but I am far more realistic and aware about it than I once was.  That is a gift for sure.
I try to take the ebb and flows with grace, validate when I can, gain space when I can't, and give myself lots of space and time if necessary, I have comapred to where I was greatly developed my sense awareness and independence and am still perfecting my ability to stand back and gain perspective when the whirlwinds of bpd hits, so I can ground myself and recognize this has nothing whatsoever to do with me and everything to do with the traumatic antecedents of the bpd manifesting in my p.
It is heart-wrenching how abusive families can produce this illness in otherwise loving people and oh so sad, but I also am recognizing how because of my own very low sense of self and self-esteem I have also selfishly taken advantage of that desperately love seeking personality.  That is something I am not proud of.  But I am learning to forgive myself, reconginze I am, too, a work in progress and through awareness comes responsibility and the requirement to act in a positive and growing way.  I try to be of use to my community and that in itself has been life altering in developing my own self-care resources.   
It is a learning process and each new day that dawns I take the time that I need to try to embrace awareness, but, again, it is a work in progress.
Anyway, I have gained great strength in learning to understand how I fit into the larger relationship pattern and balance my own self-care with my own core values and notions of commitment, care and love for the other.  It is not easy and at times quite exhausting but so far whatever happens with the M, I truly feel that there are, along with the challenges, also a great many gifts presented to me.  For me (and I think at this moment. though this could too change), I would, whatever happens to the M wish to keep in touch with this awe-inspiring human being. 
Anyway, I have watched many films about bpd, few of which were really all that good, and read a few of the books and especially loved the 'Loving a bpd partner' and the 'WOE Workbook', which I still use from time to time when I need some grounding and skill sharpening.  Can anyone suggest wellness practitioners that have made a difference in their own development and growth within a m to a p/w bpd?

Wishes of wellness and gratitude in advance!

[Bound Ahree]

Hello,
I had an account here years ago and all the folks here really helped me out a bunch w/ pwbpd and my own codependency problems. I cannot recall any of the registration info so I began a new account.
I am a bit of a dinosaur in terms of staying in a M in spite of the challenges inherent in such a M, all that 'for better and worse' intentions still quite resonate with the romantic side of me (I know, unrealistic and self-defeating!).  Anyway, I am learning and, using the recommended resources and strategies, I have been able to maintain and even at times it seems grow this M, but I do not have any illusions that the day may come when it is perhaps unsustainable and have and still am preparing for it. Not that it preoccupies me, but I am far more realistic and aware about it than I once was.  That is a gift for sure.
I try to take the ebb and flows with grace, validate when I can, gain space when I can't, and give myself lots of space and time if necessary, I have comapred to where I was greatly developed my sense awareness and independence and am still perfecting my ability to stand back and gain perspective when the whirlwinds of bpd hits, so I can ground myself and recognize this has nothing whatsoever to do with me and everything to do with the traumatic antecedents of the bpd manifesting in my p.
It is heart-wrenching how abusive families can produce this illness in otherwise loving people and oh so sad, but I also am recognizing how because of my own very low sense of self and self-esteem I have also selfishly taken advantage of that desperately love seeking personality.  That is something I am not proud of.  But I am learning to forgive myself, reconginze I am, too, a work in progress and through awareness comes responsibility and the requirement to act in a positive and growing way.  I try to be of use to my community and that in itself has been life altering in developing my own self-care resources.   
It is a learning process and each new day that dawns I take the time that I need to try to embrace awareness, but, again, it is a work in progress.
Anyway, I have gained great strength in learning to understand how I fit into the larger relationship pattern and balance my own self-care with my own core values and notions of commitment, care and love for the other.  It is not easy and at times quite exhausting but so far whatever happens with the M, I truly feel that there are, along with the challenges, also a great many gifts presented to me.  For me (and I think at this moment. though this could too change), I would, whatever happens to the M wish to keep in touch with this awe-inspiring human being. 
Anyway, I have watched many films about bpd, few of which were really all that good, and read a few of the books and especially loved the 'Loving a bpd partner' and the 'WOE Workbook', which I still use from time to time when I need some grounding and skill sharpening.  Can anyone suggest wellness practitioners that have made a difference in their own development and growth within a m to a p/w bpd?

Wishes of wellness and gratitude in advance!

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pursuingJoy]

Bound Ahree, glad you found your way back to us! Sounds like you've had a busy time keeping things together and working through some great material. I'm glad to hear you've extended kindness and grace to yourself as you sort through this. It can be a lot. 

When you say wellness practitioners, are you looking for additional resources to address, say, challenges in your marriage, possibly related to BPD? Anything specific you're needing at this time?

I LOVE your handle. Well played. 

[Bound Ahree]

Bound Ahree, glad you found your way back to us! Sounds like you've had a busy time keeping things together and working through some great material. I'm glad to hear you've extended kindness and grace to yourself as you sort through this. It can be a lot. 

When you say wellness practitioners, are you looking for additional resources to address, say, challenges in your marriage, possibly related to BPD? Anything specific you're needing at this time?

I LOVE your handle. Well played. 

Hey, pursuing Joy, thanks for the response and your handle's quite smart, too, btw. 
Thank you for the supportive and kind words.  It is such understanding and empathy that helps me and likely others too.   
It has been years since I was here last and yes it has been a busy time.  But suffice to say I am in a much better place than I once was, and I am evolving my support and independence systems, too. 
 Before posting I had not recently investigated the sheer depth of material now on the website-Skip, friends, researchers, volunteers, mods, wellness practitioners, romantic partners, family members, friends and all those who've contributed have collaboratively and cooperatively created an amazing clearinghouse for cutting edge and reliable information.
There's quite a lot to examine here, buy I suppose I was looking for perhaps more recent literature for the partners of those with bpd?
Thank you and take care.