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Author Topic: I finally know what was wrong with my mom  (Read 519 times)
Ihateithere
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Complicated
Posts: 1


« on: August 29, 2020, 11:34:18 PM »

I ways wondered what was wrong with my mom. I thought she was just depressed. Then I suspected bipolar disorder. Finally I decided to ask my psychiatry professor for help and just by talking to me, he told me that she more than likely has bpd. This is Huge. She's been to 4 therapists and seen 2 psychiatric nurses because there are no actual psychiatrists here where I'm from. So my professor even offered to give her free sessions online and to check if the meds she's on are the right ones. Like I'm so happy. I've always known that something wasn't okay with her and after doing my research (I'm a med student) I can't believe how much of her behavior matched that of bpd. It's hurt all of us so much. I'm just tired of being stressed and having to tiptoe around her. I want a real mom Frustrated/Unfortunate (click to insert in post) the sad part is that she may never be an actual mom to my sisters and myself.
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Methuen
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
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« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2020, 11:51:59 AM »

Excerpt
So my professor even offered to give her free sessions online and to check if the meds she's on are the right ones.
Wow.  That's a generous offer.  I would also ask your prof what would be the best way to approach her about this.  I think some/many/most pwBPD would be insulted or even triggered by this offer because they would have to be aware or acknowledge that they have a problem. 
My mom has refused counselling at different times in her life.  That was a NO go.  She doesn't know that I've been seeing T's on/off for many years.  If I told her that, the relationship would go toxic again.  So the trick is how to approach your mom in a way that would be validating to her, rather than invalidating.  If it goes wrong the first time you approach her, there won't be a second chance.  As you are aware, it's a complicated disease.

Excerpt
I want a real mom... the sad part is that she may never be an actual mom to my sisters and myself.
It is good that you have this awareness.  In my experience, it was hard to accept this, but once I accepted it, I was able to start moving forward.

Best wishes for your studies at med school.  That is so exciting...good for you!  A lot of hard work, but an amazing opportunity to help people. Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

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