Devastated but stupid

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi all,

I did my first post a little while ago in a different section but I feel that I need to move to here as I don’t think things will get better & that I really have just learned to live with it. I'm married to someone with medicated Generalised Anxiety Disorder & I also believe (he had also mentioned that he thinks he might have too) Borderline Personality Disorder. Tonight has been a typical argument, nothing new or unusual but he crossed a line & I'm devastated;

We have a joint FB account & every so often when we argue, he'll unfriend everyone which is annoying but whatever. So he did the same tonight & I've just ignored it but I've just jumped on to check memories as we have a toddler & I love looking back & he's deleted everything; photos, posts, messages.
 

We keep photos but little memories & milestones are all documented on FB & I just can't believe he'd do that. I haven't cried all night because I'm used to how he is but I am heartbroken right now.
 

I know it's only Facebook & I'm probably being irrational but I just needed to get it out to someone, anyone ❤️
 

Thanks all

[CrossStitchSane]

Hi all,

I did my first post a little while ago in a different section but I feel that I need to move to here as I don’t think things will get better & that I really have just learned to live with it. I'm married to someone with medicated Generalised Anxiety Disorder & I also believe (he had also mentioned that he thinks he might have too) Borderline Personality Disorder. Tonight has been a typical argument, nothing new or unusual but he crossed a line & I'm devastated;

We have a joint FB account & every so often when we argue, he'll unfriend everyone which is annoying but whatever. So he did the same tonight & I've just ignored it but I've just jumped on to check memories as we have a toddler & I love looking back & he's deleted everything; photos, posts, messages.
 

We keep photos but little memories & milestones are all documented on FB & I just can't believe he'd do that. I haven't cried all night because I'm used to how he is but I am heartbroken right now.
 

I know it's only Facebook & I'm probably being irrational but I just needed to get it out to someone, anyone ❤️
 

Thanks all

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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[bowedbirdie]

I don't think its just Facebook. Those are precious memories that you share with your spouse, and to have them deleted like that would devastate anyone who has emotions. And I think that just because you are used to his behavior doesn't mean that they no longer affect you. Your emotions and the pain that you feel is so valid. And I think it was wise of you to share your pain here rather than keeping it all bottled up inside. I'm not a therapist or a friend of yours, but I think that getting this off your chest and sharing it us (although we are strangers) helps to validate your experience and lets you know that you are not alone. My experiences of dealing with a PwBPD is different from yours, but everyone here has experienced a lot of pain from dealing with someone who has a serious mental illness. Our circumstances may be different, but we are with you in the midst of your pain even if it's something that some might consider as just Facebook. I know I'm not much of help, but I at least want you to know that my heart aches for you 

[RestlessWanderer]

Hi there, I just read through your post and I wanted to offer you some support. I went through a similar experience with my wife. We had decorated our toddler's room with photos of our family (the two of us and his older brother). It was a sweet gesture and a creative expression of my wife's artistic skills. However, in a fit of anger she tore down every photo of me, including all other photos of me in the house.
I hope you read through the site and look at some of the tools. You may be used to some of these behaviors already, but it's important to set boundaries early. Otherwise you may become conditioned to many more similar behaviors over time. There's a lot that you can do to help your situation out.

And don't feel that you're dumb for feeling upset about what he did. It's something that you care about and that needs to be respected. I understand the hurt and sadness that what seems like a petty and minor thing like that can cause. But remember that no one deserves to have something they like be treated like it's insignificant.

I hope things improve for you.