Hi There,
After seeking professional help through my employer, it came to my awareness that my partner may be suffering BPD which has been helpful in understanding why he does the things he does. I’ve started to educate myself further on the disorder but know my skills are limited in handling. He is unaware and can’t accept there might be more to his behaviours and often just refers to himself as a ‘maniac’. I do believe there may be a mood disorder he is also battling without help and deals with a severe chronic Pain injury which he also blames for his episodes (and I understand that may be the case regularly).
We can often argue about the most minor incidents - how I make pancakes, or how I’ve cleaned something, or to more serious accountS - impulsive spending, reckless driving or road rage.
We’ve been together for nearly 10 years, married for 5 and I’m just getting to the point of contempt and exhaustion from ‘walking on eggshells’. I’ve tried setting boundaries but they end up sounding like ultimatums. I love my husband very much but it is starting to take a toll on my own well-being. I often think about leaving but scared of what he might do to himself (he says he’d kill himself if I left) I think I should seek professional help regularly as I don’t want to talk about it with friends or family of fear of judgement. I often want to discuss with his family but get worried of their reaction. I believe his mother has swept a lot of this under the rug for most of his upbringing. Need help salvaging?
