Gaining my Life back

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hello everyone...I ended a 3 yr relationship with a gal that I believe has traits of BPD.  Its been 6 weeks now and I am reaching out to say hello and to get support for my life as I move forward without her and try to get my life back,.  At times, I feel strong, and at times, I feel weak...feeling a bit weak at the moment.

[danoturbo]

Hello everyone...I ended a 3 yr relationship with a gal that I believe has traits of BPD.  Its been 6 weeks now and I am reaching out to say hello and to get support for my life as I move forward without her and try to get my life back,.  At times, I feel strong, and at times, I feel weak...feeling a bit weak at the moment.

[KarmasReal]

Hey danoturbo,

I am in a similar situation although 6 years in for me.  It can be very difficult during this time.  Welcome and if you have any questions or anything to get off your chest, this is the place to do so.  Peace and Blessings.

Karma

[FindingMe2011]

Its been 6 weeks now and I am reaching out to say hello and to get support for my life

6 weeks from a 3 year r/s, isnt that long really. Some believe it takes 1/4 of the r/s time, to fully process, in a healthy way. Its common to ride the roller coaster, in any r/s break-up, part of the grieving process. What is it you feel you are struggling with? I wish you well, Peace

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=138154.0

[Football2000]

I am more than 2 months since my partner left me. It lasted nearly a decade. My best advice is try and do one small thing new each day. Whether that is going down than extra aisle in the grocery store or even eating 2 meals vs 1.

[Rev]

Welcome Dan,

What you are experiencing is totally normal for people like "us".  So just ride this out one day at a time until you put yourself back together.

This is a really, really awesome place.  It has been a lifeline for me let me tell you.  I certainly felt exactly as you say a year ago when I provoke my BPD/NPD wife to leave me so that I could protect myself and my career.

A year later, I still feel the effects but less now.  This board really helps.

Welcome to this community. One day you'll pay it forward and that will help, you will see.

Rev

[Coach T]

Hi Dan,

I am in the same boat. So sorry for what you are going through. It has helped me to see a counsellor to understand myself a little better. My counsellor asked some tough questions. Maybe the toughest was why I would put someone else's mental health ahead of my own? I know that it seems a bit selfish at first, but it really makes sense that you cannot help others until you are in a right place yourself. My bleacher advice is to see a counsellor and talk about everything good and bad. It is freeing to be able to say help me, I am hurting because I loved someone who has a personality disorder and I feel that my life is out of sorts. Please help me get myself right.

For me, I am trying to work through why I spent so much time allowing myself to get caught up in the drama of my pwBPD and forgot to be myself. I am now realizing that I sacrificed things about myself to "make it work" and even then it truly did not. If this is co-dependency, then I need to work on it.

Dan, today is tough, but I guarantee that you will be stronger than you ever imagined one day if you take the time to work on you. As someone said to me, "The one thing I know is that I didn’t cause it, I can’t cure it, and I can’t control it." What yopu can control is how you handle it. I will be thinking about you and praying for you brother!