The Dance

[Hendog]

I’m 63, retired firefighter/medic after 35 years. My 30 year old son ( only child) was diagnosed BPD 1.5 years ago, although I believe he has had it since he was a child. His mother ( my ex wife)was and still is an alcoholic. She left us when He was 13, but he grew up dealing with her drinking, especially when I was on duty. After she left, I had to work 3 jobs to keep our home, and he spent a lot of time alone. First ‘looking back’ mistake. I give 100% credit to my current wife for saving him and getting him on the right path. My relationship with him has been one of proud highs and disgusted estrangement. We do this dance once or twice a year. He is now married with a two year old...my first and only grandson. He is a first responder, and I am proud of him. But he makes such bad decisions on occasion that I can’t begin to understand. And the dance begins again. I suffer from PTSD and adult life depression. I’m on meds, and have a wonderful therapist who saved me from myself. I feel like I am rambling here, so I will stop here. I would welcome any thoughts, advice or experiences y’all care to share. I hate the dance.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[formflier]

You have found a place that can help.

Can you describe the dance?

He does this and you do (blank) and he does and you do...

How long does this go on?  How does it resolve?

I bet we can make it better.

Best,

FF