Fairly certain my spouse is a BPD, and I am overwhelmed

[siddhartha_crypto]

 Hello,

I am married to a woman who I am coming to believe has BPD.

I have tried repeatedly to tell my family about this, but because she is so sweet and calm when around others, they think I am lying.

I have my own problems, including anxiety and a low level of Bipolar Disorder (primary symptoms are depression and workaholic mania, insomnia, and vivid dreams; I do not have a problem with lying, gambling, hallucinations, or other Bipolar symptoms).

Because I have a psychiatric history, my family believes I am basically hallucinating my wife's mood swings.

There is so much to be done, I cannot do it all. I am tired, and feel this relationship is basically over, but I'm still trying to fight the desire to think about separation.

There is a point on the horizon that I can see where I will have to may have to chose to separate from the family. I'm so tired, I can't help others, including my two wonderful children, unless I get some distance from my SO.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[juju2]

Welcome, you are in the right place.

Sorry all of this is happening, it sounds like a lot to bear.

There is hope, comfort, understanding here.  I found people who have been through what I am dealing with. It makes a difference to be understood.

How long have you been together, share more of what is going on.

You are not alone.  Many here have experienced what I am going through, and their insight of what worked and what didn't work so well, is helpful to me.

I am separated for almost 3 years from my boyfriend of over 13 years now, who is high functioning, diagnosed, untreated, BPD.
He has come to believe he does not have that, he says it's PTSD. That has not been diagnosed...

Take good care,

juju