My bf is not diagnosed but displays BPD tendencies. He has been diagnosed with Bipolar but BPD can be challenging and is usually misdiagnosed. He is very sensitive and highly emotional, has a hard time "cooling down" after getting worked up over something typically small, and has a very negative self-esteem, with abandonment issues. With that in mind, I tend to try to avoid upsetting him which I know is impossible and isn't doing anything to help him, so I have been being more open with him when it comes to things I dislike. Currently, my issue has been with him messaging his ex-girlfriend that he just broke up with a few months ago. Quick background, I met my bf in 2017, lived together from 2018-2019. Broke up and moved out in 2019, and had NC for about 10months. During that time, he started talking to someone and lived with her until they broke up, which is when he reached out to me again 3 months ago. The reason his ex reached out to him was because she had a significant loss and doesn't have anyone to talk to/depressed, so she messaged him about a month ago. He tells me he's just being nice, doesn't want to abandon her because he knows what it feels like to be in her spot etc. My problem is my lack of trust, the disrespect I feel, and his prioritizing her rather than me in the sense that he knows it bothers me, but feels its more important to still talk to her. I've told him all this, but he isn't understanding and just criticizes me when I try to bring it up, and it starts a fight that eventually ends with me apologizing to him.
