Bpd wife wants to recycle me again

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My wife n I split in end of May I couldn't take the dollar coaster ride anymore. Immediately in a week she was with another guy in a relationship.  This guy is known town junkie  . He's a methhead and he shoots dope. Well 3 weeks into it she comes to me saying she miss me n how bad he is. Basically making me feel guilty for leaving which worked. Well he goes to rehab we start hanging out n sleeping together  and I feel bad n I want to make it right n treat her better and try dealing with her bpd and give it another shot. So I move in and we renew our vows and things are great for few days. He leaves rehab stops by and I wanted to kill him she says stay inside she just needs to tell him it's over. So she does and things are the same n next day she says she nerd space to process her what she wants so I leave giving her space. Almost 2 weeks go by and she says he's freaked out on meth stalking her n wants me to come back n work on our marriage.  Lying about how she was with him the whole time. So we reconcile things are great for over a month n one day out of nowhere she says she don't want to be with me no more she wants him so I move out n here I am 2 days later she calls wanting me back saying he just wanted to break up our marriage and he's out getting high. She brought me mail in which I was doing nc I shouldn't of saw her..she crys says she hates hurting me she loves me and I said I can't do it again. She pulls over gets a knife out gets out of car test to slice her wrist or pretends to idk but I grabbed the knife told her to get help n do counseling.  She gets mad drop me off a block from where I live . I really wanted to hold her I felt so bad or just let her kno _____ would be ok but ibjustbleft said see ya. I can't take being recycled again. I wanted to die this last time. I mean this _____ really hurts..what do i do?

[Danzigpool77]

My wife n I split in end of May I couldn't take the dollar coaster ride anymore. Immediately in a week she was with another guy in a relationship.  This guy is known town junkie  . He's a methhead and he shoots dope. Well 3 weeks into it she comes to me saying she miss me n how bad he is. Basically making me feel guilty for leaving which worked. Well he goes to rehab we start hanging out n sleeping together  and I feel bad n I want to make it right n treat her better and try dealing with her bpd and give it another shot. So I move in and we renew our vows and things are great for few days. He leaves rehab stops by and I wanted to kill him she says stay inside she just needs to tell him it's over. So she does and things are the same n next day she says she nerd space to process her what she wants so I leave giving her space. Almost 2 weeks go by and she says he's freaked out on meth stalking her n wants me to come back n work on our marriage.  Lying about how she was with him the whole time. So we reconcile things are great for over a month n one day out of nowhere she says she don't want to be with me no more she wants him so I move out n here I am 2 days later she calls wanting me back saying he just wanted to break up our marriage and he's out getting high. She brought me mail in which I was doing nc I shouldn't of saw her..she crys says she hates hurting me she loves me and I said I can't do it again. She pulls over gets a knife out gets out of car test to slice her wrist or pretends to idk but I grabbed the knife told her to get help n do counseling.  She gets mad drop me off a block from where I live . I really wanted to hold her I felt so bad or just let her kno _____ would be ok but ibjustbleft said see ya. I can't take being recycled again. I wanted to die this last time. I mean this _____ really hurts..what do i do?