Need help treading the waters of this turbulent relationship with kids together

[struggleoflove]

I do love her and we have children together one of which she chose to give to her niece who could not have kids. I was not thrilled with the idea but her niece is at least an emotionally stable and loving person. But she has described things in her past and once tried counseling but the counselor informed her she may need more help that she seems to be BPD and soon after she quit seeking help. But every once in awhile admits she thinks she has it too, but then flips on me an hour later and mentally abuses me for hours and sometimes days. Then things will settle down then she starts talking to other men and when i find out she kicks me out, physically and mentally abuses me more, I leave she cries and the cycle repeats. She tells me she loves me then she tells me she doesn't think she can love anyone. I have never been in a relationship like this ever. And what makes it worse is I am disabled from an accident and she uses that against me regularly to make me feel less of a human or man in general. But she knew I had just recently started walking again after 5 years bed ridden and that i had a lot of residual issues when we met.
I am scared she might hurt herself because this latest time she has sunken deep into depression.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

These relationships are not easy. Take a look at this article: https://bpdfamily.com/content/what-does-it-take-be-relationship
How long have you been together?