Where Social Anxiety and BPD Collide

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hi everyone _{(I spent some time here a long time ago. It was time to come back.)}
I am a woman with a ridiculous amount of social anxiety and an unhealthy dose of codependency, living with (married to) a man who is both BPD and OCPD (and pretty damn narcissistic), looking for a tribe of people who 'get it'.

Convinced of my own worthlessness, I have spent 20 years catering to his needs and moods and down-right nasty behaviours. But I can't anymore. I'm just completely exhausted, used up, fed up, and desperate to (re)gain some dignity.

The whole Covid-19 situation has put his mental health issues into overdrive, being isolated with him in his dysregulation has done the same to mine. I care about him, but I am no longer in love. He pulled something so selfish and hurtful six months ago that he broke my heart (one too many times) and it just won't heal anymore. I think that's probably a good thing, in the long run. I'm getting help for my own mental health now and learning about boundaries at last -- it's really hard! But for many reasons (mental, physical, logistical, financial), I can't just leave. Not yet.

So here I am, looking for a safe place to land when it gets too crazy here in my real world until I will be able to move on. I think you all will understand. Thanks for listening!

[Willow Bird]

Hi everyone _{(I spent some time here a long time ago. It was time to come back.)}
I am a woman with a ridiculous amount of social anxiety and an unhealthy dose of codependency, living with (married to) a man who is both BPD and OCPD (and pretty damn narcissistic), looking for a tribe of people who 'get it'.

Convinced of my own worthlessness, I have spent 20 years catering to his needs and moods and down-right nasty behaviours. But I can't anymore. I'm just completely exhausted, used up, fed up, and desperate to (re)gain some dignity.

The whole Covid-19 situation has put his mental health issues into overdrive, being isolated with him in his dysregulation has done the same to mine. I care about him, but I am no longer in love. He pulled something so selfish and hurtful six months ago that he broke my heart (one too many times) and it just won't heal anymore. I think that's probably a good thing, in the long run. I'm getting help for my own mental health now and learning about boundaries at last -- it's really hard! But for many reasons (mental, physical, logistical, financial), I can't just leave. Not yet.

So here I am, looking for a safe place to land when it gets too crazy here in my real world until I will be able to move on. I think you all will understand. Thanks for listening!

[Cat Familiar]

I had terrible social anxiety and I married a BPD/NPD who behaved badly. Finally it was enough to get me to leave.

Since then, I’ve conquered my social anxiety and I feel so much freer, although I married another BPD but he’s a sweetheart most of the time.

Why do you think you have social anxiety?