New Here

[Depression = 72% of members]

Finally a light has come on, I can see a glimmer of light/hope ahead. I know this is just the beginning but I am so hopeful that now that I know what is going on with my spouse I can find the tools and support that I need to adjust my responses to her behavior. I hope and pray for a stronger and better relationship and improved quality of life for the both of us. Already I know it is unlikely that she will ever understand what's happening with her and I do not plan to confront her with my diagnostic suspicions. I have been in therapy on/off for years, I can't believe it has taken this long for a therapist to help identify the issues. My spouse has recently seemed more open to going to couples therapy. One part of me thinks and hopes this would help and may be a way to lead her to the realization on her own. The other part of me feels like this a pipe dream. Has anyone had any success with their unconventional BPD partners in couples therapy?   

[Flecksremorse]

Finally a light has come on, I can see a glimmer of light/hope ahead. I know this is just the beginning but I am so hopeful that now that I know what is going on with my spouse I can find the tools and support that I need to adjust my responses to her behavior. I hope and pray for a stronger and better relationship and improved quality of life for the both of us. Already I know it is unlikely that she will ever understand what's happening with her and I do not plan to confront her with my diagnostic suspicions. I have been in therapy on/off for years, I can't believe it has taken this long for a therapist to help identify the issues. My spouse has recently seemed more open to going to couples therapy. One part of me thinks and hopes this would help and may be a way to lead her to the realization on her own. The other part of me feels like this a pipe dream. Has anyone had any success with their unconventional BPD partners in couples therapy?   

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

Generally individual therapy is a better use of the therapy dollar. I know we all hope they will have an epiphany and make huge behavioral changes, but usually that outcome is a product of DBT therapy and their commitment to pursue it.

The old maxim, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink is apropos here.

You, however, are motivated. And by changing how you respond, you can change the dynamics in your relationship.

[thankful person]

Welcome flecks,
I have recently started this journey on the forum, having been with my wife for 8 years. She was diagnosed Bpd before we met and did a bit of dbt but considers herself recovered because she stopped self harming and overcame her eating disorder. She refuses for either of us to attend therapy together or alone. I genuinely think she doesn’t realise how bpd her day-to-day behaviour is. The good news is that through the support of these amazing people here I am managing to make a small difference all on my own. It’s a long road ahead but I am so much more hopeful. We have two small children and I owe it to them as well as myself. I wish you all the best.