Using young kids to feel wanted

[Gdoodle]

Hello,

Has any bpd use young kids to feel wanted and to feel loved? My ubpdw and i are having issues for past few weeks, i finally decided to stand up for myself. And now she feels abandoned, unloved and empty. Few nights ago after another fight she told me and my kids (8 and 4) “she doesn’t feel like part of the family or wanted” then she took the kids into another room and starts to tell them “she is not a good mom, nobody loves her and they should live with me from now on” my 8 year old cries and tells her not  to leave and he loves her. After that she feels great and wants to be part of the family again. The thing is when she comes home from work she spends zero time with the kids, i am just waiting to see how long this will last before she spends zero time with the kids again. Any one else dealt with this issues?

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[Cat Familiar]

I haven’t dealt with this personally, but many members write about BPD mothers *using* the kids for their self esteem, feeling needed, wanted, etc.

Seems only to work prior to adolescence.