Hey sobe, good to hear from you again! Hugs as you're going through this
I am working with her school to get her an IEP but I really don't know what options are available through the school. You're right that it might make sense to ask a lawyer to help.
We are also super new to this, and it's also complicated for us because I'm just the stepmom, so please know I am NOT an expert in IEPs/SPED stuff. But I will share as many ideas as I can!
You can often do what's called an "initial consultation" with as many lawyers as you want. This is a first call or meeting, often shorter (~30-60 min), but it can be free or low cost, because you aren't "retaining" them, just seeing if they are a good fit. But in initial consultations, you can share your situation and goals, and they can tell you how things usually go in your area. So, for example, you might describe your D's situation and needs, and your goal to get extensive (likely "above and beyond") support from the school district, and a L specializing in education and/or family law can tell you something like "OK, in this county, you would need to do XYZ to get that goal. Doing ABC rarely works".
You don't have to decide right away if you want to retain the L. Meet with a few and then if you get most of your questions answered, great, and if not, then you can compare prices, personalities, and abilities of the ones you met, and pick one that best meets your needs.
Do you know if we try to get services through the school if they are going to suffer financially or will the state step up and help them pay for an expensive special needs kid?
On the one hand, no, I don't know for sure. You could try looking through links and articles on the Wrightslaw (SPED law & advocacy) web site to see if they answer that question:
https://www.wrightslaw.comThis site also addresses funding questions;
https://www.understandingspecialeducation.com/special-education-funding.htmlOn the other hand, as "selfish" as it sounds, consider going in to any of these meetings feeling like "hey, not my money!" I know it sounds "bad" but it's your child, and you are allowed to advocate strongly for any and all of her needs. It's not your problem figuring out how the school will pay for it. Harsh but maybe a more helpful mindset.
I spoke with an advocate for our county and they have "wrap around" services including a rapid crisis response team but it's only available if you're on Medi-Cal. So, I'm trying to cobble together my own wrap around service and spending hours a day calling people and organizations. I would really like a rapid crisis response team so we don't have to call 911 every time she threatens to kill herself. We do have a "local" therapist but she's in a different state and city (we live on a state border) so isn't familiar with resources in our community.
That's hard having to reinvent the wheel. So frustrating that the rapid response team is only for Medi-Cal. You may have already thought of this, but in our area, there is a non-emergency "911" line (not 911, obviously
) that sends a mobile team. It's not rapid response but it is available to everyone. So, you could consider calling the police or fire non-emergency phone #, and asking what they provide, and if it's for everyone.
Has your D's therapist been in touch with the hospital where your D is at?
I talked to my daughter today and she told me they were planning on discharging her from the hospital on Monday or Tuesday - and they haven't even told me this (it's Saturday today). She just told me if she comes home she'll be back in the hospital within 2 days. It's been almost impossible for me to talk to anyone in charge there. I haven't talked to her doctor in six days despite daily calls and her social worker just told me it was up to me to decide what to do with her. The advocate with our insurance is equally useless - her only help was giving me a long list of out of state locked RTCs - some of which have been shut down due to abuse.
Geez. I really feel for you. It's so frustrating when it seems like the professionals put their responsibility back on the parents, without working together with parents.
Same question as above -- I'm wondering if maybe the hospital would respond "better" (ugh, but true) to another professional, so if your D's therapist bugged them, could that help?
When your D says "she'll be back at the hospital in 2 days" if discharged, do you think that is coming from a place where your D recognizes that she needs more help? I.e. she recognizes that her behaviors aren't managed yet?
In addition to the calls, can you document in an email to the Dr and hospital what your D said to you? Get a paper trail of your disagreement with her discharge: "On Friday at 5pm my D said in our 20 minute phone call X, Y, and Z. I do not agree with any assessment that she is ready for discharge and do not consent to it. If I don't have written confirmation of your agreement (that she is not ready to discharge) by 5pm on ABC day, then I will do PQR"
That is sounding like lawyer territory, perhaps? Quick thought, if you decide to do some initial consultations with L's, in addition to looking for ones with family or educational law background, perhaps one with medical/hospital law background?
It just seems crazy that a hospital could say "sure, your minor child is ready for discharge" if you have documented to them that your child talks about continuing the exact behaviors that brought her there.
If I can ever talk to her doctor I want to ask him what he thinks the real risk is with her coming home. I am also thinking of trying to find another RTC in California that will take her. I think it's going to be hard given her extensive recent hospitalization and other behaviors.
It makes sense to want to look in state, both because it's closer to home and because of legal/insurance hassles.
That reminds me, does your D still have a "normal" doctor/pediatrician in your town? Same as above again, would that doctor be willing to call the hospital to get info? It sucks that the center isn't responsive to you, so maybe enlisting MH/med professionals "on your team" to contact them will light a fire under them.
And I know you've probably thought of a lot of this already, so my apologies if it's redundant.
Keep posting whenever works for you, and if anyone else is reading this thread and has some SPED/IEP/504/wraparound experience, please chime in -- I know there's so much depth out there.
Hang in there;
kells76
