New-Looking for acute residential treatment for our daughter

[DrMomBPDDtr]

We have been in a family oriented IOP for the last 8 months with our 14 yr old Dtr who has gotten worse with a transition to high school and was completely unengaged with the program.  We are now considering acute residential treatment but our educational consultant is recommending a longer term residential program (10-12 months).  Does anyone with experience sending a teen to such program have advice?  We are considering McLean 3East, Silver Hill, Hillside, Willow Springs.   Thanks

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[kells76]

Hi DrMomBPDDtr, welcome to the group. So glad you decided to reach out.

You're not alone in looking for a step up in care for a young teen with BPD behaviors. Let me start you out with a snippet from another recent thread:

There are members who have had success with getting their kids into wilderness/therapeutic boarding school situations. If you search for posts by member lbjnltx (let me know if you need a hand figuring out how to search), you can see some of her experience with her D in a therapeutic boarding school.

Have you seen the "Lessons" thread yet? Here it is:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=114267.0

and if you scroll down to Lesson 6 on "Therapy methods and inpatient / outpatient venues", there is a big collection of links to threads on RTCs and programs for teens.

There's also this thread; not sure if it's in the collection:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=298572.0

Check out those links and see what you think. I will add that I have heard positive things about McLean. I can't remember if that's where Dr. Blaise Aguirre practices -- you may have heard of him, he specializes in BPD in teens/adolescents -- but if not, consider reaching out to him for a consultation.

Here's a link to some reviews of his book (again, you may have already seen it):

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=65571.0

...

8 months is a long time. I'm sorry you're going through so much -- we KNOW here that there's so, so much you haven't said.

If you ever need to vent, process, get support, anything, in addition to advice, we're here. It's a long road.

Again, welcome;

kells76

[Swimmy55]

Hi There.  There is not a whole lot I can add to Kells' message other than to repeat that we are here for you , you are not alone.

 The saying " It takes a village to raise a child " is a true one because sometimes they have needs we can't possibly meet in the home setting.  I don't know if I have advice per se, but my son had to go to therapeutic hospital, then residential group home .  I guess the first thing I'd say is with me, the guilt hit hard. I still have some residual guilt to this day.  However, remember , saving a life and keeping everyone safe is priority number one. So if you can help it, remember that during the hard times. This all happened in 2009 -2012, I don't have the newest, latest information in what is the best placement. Please vent as you need to .  We are here for you.

[CatMom22]

Hey there!

My kid just started a short term residential with Embark in the Poconos. At first she liked it and now she hates it but I expected that. She wanted to go  to residential but I think she thought it would be like camp, not school and therapy.  Anyway I am following this thread because if this place doesn't work, I'm looking for a year long therapeutic boarding school for her.

[Guardian Aunt]

Hi, I am also looking for long term residential treatment. My kiddo is still struggling with sucidial ideation after 2 months in a local 90 day RTC.
We have had multiple PHPs prior in addition to multiple acute admissions.
I can say - I wouldn't send your child to Willow Springs in NV. They have a terrible reputation and many of their patients are violent. I have had kids report being more traumatized after leaving.

[Momsense]

I am so sorry that you are going through this. We were in the same boat as you nearly 6 years ago with our 16-year-old daughter. We decided to take her to Clearview in Montana. She was there for a total of 13 months. It is a really hard decision to make, but I believe as parents we know when it is time to get that long-term outside help. My advice to you would be to go somewhere that has DBT. We didn't know it at the time, but now I wish we had looked for a place that offered DBT. I believe the program in Montana helped our daughter tremendously, although it wasn't perfect. Every program will have some problems. Maybe think of your top 5 priorities in a program and really stick to that when looking for a place.