I thought I could handle poly fwb with treated pwbpd

[Silverdash]

TLDR:
Is this being discarded? Would pointing it out improve things? Is it possible to properly end things with damage controll?

I chose to be a fwb with a pwbpd who is in treatment. He was so open. Told me about bpd straight up. His communication skills so on point! Similar interests (yes big red flags waving!). I had worked so hard addressing my own codependency issues before meeting him. I read everything I could on bpd and I STILL chose to do fwb. I also read the resources and lessons here in bpdfamily and outofthefog etc.


Now he has friendzoned me. He wants to completely focus on his new GF. He wants to be mono, unless his GF agrees to be poly. He asked for our fwb to be paused. He sends me details about his sexlife with his new GF. My primary BF (M30) has pointed out how pwbpd has got into my head. How I immediately reacted like a breakup from pwbpd. My self esteem is tanking. I spend so much time trying to figure out if I am being devalued by pwbpd. Searching BPD forums for insight that never comes.


I am too attached (codependency issues back again). I care deeply for him. I want him. He wants me...as a friend, someone for him to talk about his sexlife with. Someone to offload his concerns about his relationship with his GF.


Primary BF says to go NC. This is not what we signed up for. This is not fwb. Its not poly. There is no benefit to this continuing. He thinks I'm coming across as too interested and too available.


I thought I could handle fwb with a treated pwbpd. How f$%kin laughable! Now I fear the devaluation and being discarded and split black. F. O. G. is real. Now I need to strategise my exit with no damage to me...and I worry about damaging him. He occupies too much of my mind and time. I still crave being with him physically. I was prepared for us to be long term lovers. I did not think the discard would happen so quick.


Theres noway he has not made the progress he said on his bpd. He even claims he may no longer have bpd because he is so good now. Uh yeah okay Jan!


I need to work on me too. I feel damaged by this. My mental resilience has taken a beating. Beware of the quiet pwbpd in treatment. He made so many empty promises and claims. Most info I read was on untreated pwbpd. How can I untangle myself from this?