I was trying out a drawing program that my daughter has on her iPad (with her permission), and one of the drawings was a psychotherapeutic exercise to express trauma. It was very disturbing for me to see how she viewed me, her mother, and traumatic moments from her life.
When she was
3rd grade going into 4th, I brought a man in to live with us. This man was alcoholic and I found out a few years later, from her psychotherapist, that he'd molested her. We never spoke about the details, but the therapist indicated it was not a rape. Not that that really made it okay. Although she says she forgives me for bringing this man into our home (for 4 years), and I cut him out of our life even before I knew about the abuse, I still feel so incredibly guilty. It makes it hard for me to move on, and even after many years I can't seem to have very close relationships. At the same time, she needs to move out now that she's finished her masters degree (which makes me very proud), and I need to develop my own social life.
