Welcome woahbaby, glad you found us! This is the most amazing group of people I’ve ever known… I remember feeling the same as you when I joined about a year ago, after feeling so alone with no one to talk to for years. It did feel like somewhat of a betrayal at first, talking about my wife with strangers behind her back… but it has literally saved my marriage, along with some of the books I’ve read, “stop caretaking the borderline or narcissist” was the best one I recommend and you can also listen to it on audiobook which I do in my car..
My wife was diagnosed bpd before we met and she did dbt and managed to conquer the self-harm and eating disorder. But she does not believe bpd still affects her. But actually it does, with the paranoia, the anger, the control and jealousy, irrationality, selfish behaviour and treatment of family members etc etc. I have never bothered discussing bpd with her and how it still affects her… and since coming on here I found that actually that is the advice not to discuss it with them..
The amazing news is… I have actually transformed our relationship through following the advice on here and in the books.. without any input or work or effort from my wife! I have not even been to therapy but my understanding is that many therapists do not deal with bpd very well, not sure about the ones that diagnose it themselves though. My whole journey is documented on here, so you may have seen some of it, my most recent post, “thinks I’m doing differently” (was meant to be things
) explains just that. Honestly it has been such an exciting year for me. I’m so much happier, more confident, my wife is calmer and my children have a much more stable life. I never thought any of this was possible. I still feel like an amateur but we’re all here to help. Good luck!
