Will she come back? Should I bother?

[whoboyboyy]

Hey everyone,
My BPDex recently dumped me and im feeling a little lost so I sought comfort in this forum. Basically, 2 months ago things were amazing but she decided we should take a break during this time she told me she was staying at her aunts house when she was actually staying with her Ex Girlfriend. During this break she would also text me how she misses and loves me and wants to be together again. She also always wore the ring I gave her around her neck still. Slowly she began deleting all posts online of me. When I confronted her of these things she said in crazy for caring about the posts and that im selfish and insecure for being upset with her ex who was just a friend and her “only” support system. This continues on for a while with her randomly texting me she still loved and misses me. She also began commenting I want you and adding a new guy online during this time who would continously DM me online for no reason. We were on the phone one day and she told a random lady I was her boyfriend but then told me I take things too personally when I asked what the deal with that was. There seemed to be a theme of me being the problem when she was disrespecting my boundaries which really messed with my head.All of this reached a climax last thursday when we agreed to go to a concert and get a hotel room together. I made it clear that I wasnt interested in being friends and she assured me she loved me as more than a friend. Things were going good during the night as we got drunk and went to the concert. She wanted to leave only 15 minutes into the show so we left and she made me buy her juul pods. We then went to the hotel and ordered food. This whole nighr she sent me a lot of mixed signals like constantly hugging me and asking for hugs and holding my hand. She also took of her shirt and asked me if I liked her bra and took of her pants as well. We then got food and she proceeded to fall asleep before the food arrived. I woke her up to eat but she just fell back asleep again. The next part is probably my fault but I got way too drunk nd upset and randomly decided I was leaving the hotel and going home because our relationship wasnt the same. While I was packing she woke up and yelled at me asking me what the hell I was doing. This is where I snapped after months of the charming and me making a fool of myself begging and blowing up on her as she lied and disrespected my boundaries so long. I told her we havent seen eachother in almost 3 months and I was upset she kept falling asleep and wanting nothing to do with me. She then flipped out and screamed at me saying all I wanted was sex. I got really upset because I never made anything about sex. I snapped and told her I bet she let her ex have sex or the new boy as she commented how her ex gives her head online. She proceeded to call me disgusting and pathetic and screaming in my face. Screaming in my face is something she would always do and I couldnt take it anymore so I told her I was sick of her screaming in my face all the time because shes borderline. That made her even more upset and we went to bed. The next morning she called her ex right next to me to drive her home saying her perception of me was changed but before she left she asked me for a hug which just confused me even more. A week later and this is all i can think about. She told ne we arent healthy for eachother and should take some space but she said she plans on talking to me again in the future. Do you guys think she will actually message me in the future? I know ive been really disrespected but I love this girl and she lived with me for the whole year. I feel lost know and I dont know what to do. Can I get you guys opinions? I feel terrible she asked me to send her the scrapbook I made her but I told her I wont. The new guy also dmed me that day saying why is my name still in your mouth. Im still young so maybe I dont understand the whole thing but somehow all 2 of my exes are diagnosed with bpd and it hurts worse each time.Since then I’ve removed her off all social medias and decided to go no contact but I still ruminate about her I feel so guilty for how I behaved because im not usually nean or confrontational like that. I just have never felt so used or played in my life and I was convinced she was my soulmate. We even tatted our names on eachother. I dont think I’ll ever get over her but I just wonder if she’ll really message me again like she said so. She also got mad at me for not reaching out to her during the break but ive told her many times I dont reach out to people who dump me which made her mad Im assuming ive already been split, devalued, and discarded though.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Jabiru]

Hi and welcome It must be tough to go through a second relationship like that. A relationship with a person with BPD is kind of a special needs relationship. This article has some useful info for making it sustainable.

It's good that you have boundaries. That's a great first step. Especially with pwBPD, it's important to voice your boundaries and stick to them. If you don't follow one of your boundaries, they'll notice and not take you as seriously. It is hard to lose someone you love, but there comes a point where suffering in an unjust relationship isn't worth it. Only you can decide when that is. You may have a natural tendency to be a caretaker as you've had two relationships with pwBPD. Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist is a book that helped me on this road to assert myself and shift my wife's and my relationship patterns to a healthier direction.

To answer your title question, no way to know for sure. Take a break for yourself then ask yourself, What do you want to do?