Boyfriend with increasing aggression, don't know what to do

[Eva.Flora]

I'm from Brazil.
I never imagined I would be going through this.
I've been dating for 7 years, my bf, we started living together in the pandemic and that's where it all started.
Before we moved in together, going back in time, I remember some episodes of aggression... but everything intensified in the last 2 years.
The tantrums are getting more and more frequent, he broke several things in our apartment. He always wants to make trouble outside the house and last week he started a fight at the gym and attacked a boy.
He was diagnosed with borderline disorder earlier this year but did not continue treatment.
He lost his job and he doesn't want me to tell his parents.
Parents know about episodes of aggression. He doesn't hit me, but he breaks MANY things.
I love him, but I don't have the emotional, physical and financial conditions to sustain this situation.
It recognizes the error but does nothing to improve it.
He doesn't want to accept the jobs that come his way, he doesn't want to go to the doctor.
I'm too tired!
I do not know what to do.
I live in fear, fear of him getting into a fight and being thrown out of the building we live in. I have nowhere else to go.
I live in fear of him having an attitude that makes him lose his mind.
I can't find support in Brazil, nothing helps us here. We cannot afford to pay for private treatment. I don't know where to start for help, but I know that living together isn't working anymore.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[chrystalheart]

I'm so sorry you are dealing with all this stress.

I think in a situation like this you need to think about what the desired goal is. You can't change another person. You can only model good behavior and make suggestions. If he doesn't want to change, then you are left with 3 options - 1. everything stays the same 2. You make an exit plan 3. You work on strengthening your own life so you can manage the ups and downs better.

It's not easy, but once you pick a path the work you need to focus on becomes more clear.

Best of luck.