Big guilt trip every time I go golfing with friend

[guitarguy09]

I have a friend who I like to golf with. He likes to get me out on the course a handful of times a year (or as my w says, "all the time in the summer"). Every time he wants to schedule golf with me, I try to say yes because the summers are only so long here before the cold, etc. I also make the only income in the family. So whenever I schedule golf, doesn't matter if my family has plans (we don't when I schedule it), she gives me this big guilt trip about being gone the whole day and having to think of things to do with the kids while I'm gone. I don't feel like it's fair that I can't go golfing every few weeks or so without a massive guilt trip. Any one else experience this? I also don't have much of a social life outside of the family.

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[Cat Familiar]

How long do you listen to her *guilt trip*?

[waverider]

She can attempt to give you a guilt trip, but its your insecurity that causes your guilt. This is all part and parcel of a BPD relationship you just have to toughen your way through it, just make sure you have realistic (your realism not BPD realism) expectations.

These outings are reasonable and you will have to be strong enough to make them become your norm. Curtailing your life to BPD permitted activities will see you giving most of your life away

[guitarguy09]

How long do you listen to her *guilt trip*?
[/quot
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Only a little while. I dread having to tell her each time but I have gone 4 times this year and will go tomorrow.

[guitarguy09]

She can attempt to give you a guilt trip, but its your insecurity that causes your guilt. This is all part and parcel of a BPD relationship you just have to toughen your way through it, just make sure you have realistic (your realism not BPD realism) expectations.

These outings are reasonable and you will have to be strong enough to make them become your norm. Curtailing your life to BPD permitted activities will see you giving most of your life away

That is a very good piece of advice. I am trying to stay to my realistic point of view. If it were up to her I'd never leave the house! Haha.