I did well with them because I could be neutral and supportive.
Do you think that your daughter might be better served by talking to someone like this instead of to you? Could you give her the phone number of a hotline that she can call when she’s in distress?
While I’m sure she feels better after lashing out at you, it’s not actually in her own best interests to continue to regulate her emotions in this manner. She absolutely can learn new emotion regulation strategies — but as long as you continue to make yourself available as her punching bag, she will have no incentive to learn them.
Perhaps part of you feels like you deserve to be punished for the mistakes you have made as a parent and now you must atone, but this doesn’t help her by doing so. If this is the case and if you struggle with setting boundaries around this behavior due to guilt, I recommend checking out some Al-Anon meetings, especially ones for parents.