Can I just say

[Fish1974]

There are some really... really special people here.

I am really enjoying reading everyone's own experiences, and in some cases comparing those feelings shared with what I am feeling. It's crazy seeing people that have experienced some of the exact same stuff - which I didn't think was possible. I know that each and every situation is different, but all of this "venting/reading" we're doing.. helps! It is encouraging to know that things do get better. I know the pain that a lot of us are feeling currently (or have felt in the past) ... is normal. It's all a process that all of us go through. No matter how heartbroken we are at the moment, those that have come out on the other side gives us hope.

I really hope that all of your loved ones that are suffering from this disorder finds "sustainable peace".

I said this once to my BPD partner, and oh man, she flipped. LOL. Guess I should've found this sooner. I know that ultimately, I'm better off without her in the long run, but it still doesn't take the pain away. So, I wanted to thank you all for allowing some of us to really express our feelings of hurt, and providing advice. It's hard to talk to "normal" folks about it.. they just don't get it at times. I know when I start feeling low - I come here, and remember I'm not alone in this journey.

[SinisterComplex]

There are some really... really special people here.

I am really enjoying reading everyone's own experiences, and in some cases comparing those feelings shared with what I am feeling. It's crazy seeing people that have experienced some of the exact same stuff - which I didn't think was possible. I know that each and every situation is different, but all of this "venting/reading" we're doing.. helps! It is encouraging to know that things do get better. I know the pain that a lot of us are feeling currently (or have felt in the past) ... is normal. It's all a process that all of us go through. No matter how heartbroken we are at the moment, those that have come out on the other side gives us hope.

I really hope that all of your loved ones that are suffering from this disorder finds "sustainable peace".

I said this once to my BPD partner, and oh man, she flipped. LOL. Guess I should've found this sooner. I know that ultimately, I'm better off without her in the long run, but it still doesn't take the pain away. So, I wanted to thank you all for allowing some of us to really express our feelings of hurt, and providing advice. It's hard to talk to "normal" folks about it.. they just don't get it at times. I know when I start feeling low - I come here, and remember I'm not alone in this journey.

Of course not.... Just a smart@$$ retort to the title. 

In all seriousness though...when I tell members we get it here and that we have your back I think you truly grasp that I am not just paying lip service with that.

Talking to normal others who have not encountered the hardships you have can definitely feel defeating because they just cannot understand the torture you feel. Normal breakups and other relationship struggles, etc are hard enough. When you mix in a disorder such as BPD it is a whole different level and a truly different beast all unto itself.

We appreciate you being part of the fam here. I encourage you to learn, teach, and lead here.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-

[Fish1974]

Thanks for the response!

I actually just got done meeting with my therapist, and I told her all about this group, and how wonderful it was for me during my road to recovery.

One interesting tidbit I found out, we were talking about her getting help.. cause I'm still in that that "I wish there was something that I could say or do to get her to wake up" phase. I said that I knew there was no medication, so I asked about DBT therapy (she teaches it), and she said... even that doesn't help all that much. That just like an addict, they get to a point to where they "think" they've got it or don't see (or choose not to see) improvements, they quit. I just shook my head, because as a quote unquote normal person, it's hard for me to fathom that line of thinking. This is really a devastating disorder; for them and ones that cross their paths. I honestly hope to move on as quickly as I can; still a lot of room to go.. and put this behind me.

I still love her very much, just like we all love I'm sure our pwBPD or ex-pwPBD.. but I know that this is not something that is sustainable long term for me. 

[yellowbutterfly]

 

but I know that this is not something that is sustainable long term for me. 

Chiming in that this is a major milestone in your healing journey. It was for me too when I realized that my relationship was not sustainable long-term no matter how much I cared for my stbxH.

Treat yourself with kindness and recognize your strength in being able to type or say those words to yourself or others.

[SinisterComplex]

Thanks for the response!

I actually just got done meeting with my therapist, and I told her all about this group, and how wonderful it was for me during my road to recovery.

One interesting tidbit I found out, we were talking about her getting help.. cause I'm still in that that "I wish there was something that I could say or do to get her to wake up" phase. I said that I knew there was no medication, so I asked about DBT therapy (she teaches it), and she said... even that doesn't help all that much. That just like an addict, they get to a point to where they "think" they've got it or don't see (or choose not to see) improvements, they quit. I just shook my head, because as a quote unquote normal person, it's hard for me to fathom that line of thinking. This is really a devastating disorder; for them and ones that cross their paths. I honestly hope to move on as quickly as I can; still a lot of room to go.. and put this behind me.

I still love her very much, just like we all love I'm sure our pwBPD or ex-pwPBD.. but I know that this is not something that is sustainable long term for me. 

So in order to move on you have to realize there is no quickly as you can. There is no skipping steps, etc. Your healing and progression will happen naturally and organically on their own timelines. Most importantly, do not set unreasonable or unattainable goals or expectations for yourself. Also do not compare yourself to others. This is all about YOU...no one else. So truly please take the time you need, be kind to you, and take care of yourself.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-