BPD and the picture perfect life on social media

[Anonymous 644277]

Our life on social media (instagram) looks perfect from the outside--lots of declarations of love and commitment (only those kind of posts since we got together); a clear path of meeting, marrying, and having a newborn; and lots of comments and responses from friends who are so happy for us. But things don't feel that way inside the relationship. What has your experience been with your relationship and social media?

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[NonnyMouse]

Until recently, and for two or three years, social media completely messed with my uBPDw's mind! She followed people, adored them and then turned against them. She changed her profile constantly. She spent hours choosing bio details and photo. Always worrying what people would think. She didn't even know what name to use. Maiden name, married name, nickname, middle name, just initials,... She would post something then have a panic attack and take it down.

She mostly kept family photos and information out. And certainly no mention of me...she couldn't stand the thought that people might think we are happy!

But she has been off social media for several months now (I think). And no sign of panic attacks. She's better for it.

[SaltyDawg]

My wife has similar tendencies and is only on Facebook, but not as large as you describe for your pwBPD.

Outside of the house, she projects the image of a good and healthy family dynamic; is the 'perfect church lady' and the 'ultimate volunteer' similar to that of a social narcissist; however, doesn't rise to the level of NPD.  however, behind closed doors it is just the opposite.  Classic Dr. Jekyll/Mr Hyde type behavior.  However, it also shows that she has control over her behaviors, even if it is at a subconscious level.

...things don't feel that way inside the relationship. What has your experience been with your relationship and social media?

[thankful person]

Yes! I have touched on this a couple of times on here recently. The first was when my wife asked if we could “get back together” on our 5th wedding anniversary, having split on me for about 6 weeks beforehand. Our “getting back together” (we live together in separate bedrooms and raise our family together) only lasted a few days but then again we “got back together” for new year again at her suggestion which again didn’t last. But on both occasions long enough for her to post happy pictures of us on social media and declarations of how strong our love and commitment is. I also mentioned in another post today how you never really know what goes on in others’ relationships. Could it be that those who are more insecure are actually the ones always posting about things being perfect?