BPD and eating disorders

[MelissaE]

My daughter is 18 now. She has been battling an eating disorder for 2 years. Last year she went from hospitalization to Residential to IOP then OP. She is right back where she was last year.. but, now she is 18 and I can't help her. She refuses to see me. LAst year while she was in residential they were tossing this diagnosis around.. I was under the impression BPD couldn't be diagnosed until at least 25 due to brain growth. Well, she is still in therapy and as far as I know still in OP.. she texted me to tell me this is her diagnosis. She blames me for her ED and BPD.. I was wondering if anyone has any experience with the two? She says they are linked and her team is trying to get one under control to help the other. I am so distressed by the fact that she has little to no communication with me.. its either one word reply or extremely lengthy texts. She is in college and stays at the dorms or with friends during breaks. Thanks for reading.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[JoeBPD81]

Hi, welcome to the family.

I'm sorry you and your daughter are going through this. My loved one suffers from both BPD and anorexia. There's a good amount of people overlapping both diagnosis. She was for a time at an ED forum, and there was a sub forum just for BPD.

In her experience, the ED works both as self harm/hate, and as a desperate try to control something, when life feels so out of control.

Being 18 her diagnosis might not be accurate. You can ask her if she feels this diagnosis helps her to understand herself better, and could be useful. Or if she doesn't like it. In any case, that's not all she is.

She won't let you be close all the time. You have to manage to let her know you are there, but not despair when she pushes you away. Easier said than done. Let her know you take her suffering seriously. And be very patient and take care of yourself, because these things take time.

Hang in there!