Confused

[Happyhome]

My husband and I have been married 23 years. It wasn’t until about 8 years ago when we were on the brink of divorcing that I talked to a therapist. I told her about him and she gave me the book Stop Walking on Egg Shells. It was so nice because I finally understood I wasn’t the problem. We dated off and on for 10 years before we go married. I understood then why he kept breaking up. I have told him a couple of times what the therapist said she thought he had but we have never really discussed it openly. He sees the same therapist and I am not sure if she had told him either.

He has been to therapy a couple of times over the years and done well.  The past 2-3 years with covid and world environment have been awful on him. He is the most negative he has ever been and mad about everything. It is to the point where it is ruining everything. He started back at the therapist and has been about 3 times and told me yesterday he isn’t going back. He is miserable and he knows he is miserable. The biggest problem for him is anger and regulating his emotions. Everything is blown up 10 times what it should be. We have a family vacation coming up and I am scared he is going to ruin it. Last year he got furious at our son and drove home. I really don’t know what to do. My family doesn’t know anything about this other than he has a bad temper. Years ago he had an affair when we were in a bad place. This time around it is not us. We are getting along. It is the anger at the world. I also feel like he is drinking too much.

I am at a loss. I don’t really have anyone to talk to. Maybe I should go back to the therapist. I am open to any suggestions. I love him so much and he does so many great things but I am at the end of my rope with negativity and anger. I am sad and mostly sad for him.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[outhere]

Hi Happyhome, your story is familiar to me and I'm sure everyone else here.  I have found talk therapy for myself immensly helpful as well as reaching out to friends and family and trying to stay involved with my own interests and hobbies.  There are also many good books for partners of people with BPD to help put their experiences in perspective.  I wish you well, there is hope for you and your husband.